PHEW, THAT WAS CLOSE

Kiwis are rejoicing this week, after learning that their absolute favourite and most culturally significant television programme, Shortland Street, has been saved from the brink. 

This was after the intervention of our eternally wise and in-touch government, on behalf of all taxpayers.

Despite few people watching the formerly five-nights-a-week soap opera, the show will now continue into 2026, airing three nights a week. A combination of NZ On Air funding and something called the “Screen Production Rebate,” made all the difference for the very valuable soap. 

TVNZ boss Jodi O’Donnell said the funding would allow them to “work through the show’s digital transition”, which we think means uploading it to TVNZ+ and praying that someone clicks on it.

“This is great news,” said one taxpayer, who asked not to be named in case someone assumed he watches Shortland Street.

“I haven’t watched it since I was at university, but I’m glad my tax dollars are supporting… um… cultural content?”

TVNZ said the show is “one of the most streamed programmes” on TVNZ+, although they didn’t say how many people that actually is. But it could be thousands of people.

Critics have questioned why a show that is apparently so beloved and important needs public funding at all. The show previously survived for 28 years without a single dollar of government assistance.

“That’s just how vital it is,” explained a spokesperson. “It’s so popular now that it needs help.”

South Pacific Pictures CEO Kelly Martin said Shortland Street still “entertains audiences with its diverse and relatable stories”. 

She would not comment on the claim that maybe Shortland Street’s former popularity was due to there not being much else on.

More to come.

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