NEEDS MORE DRAGONS

New Zealand filmmaker and part-time genetic engineer Peter Jackson has made another bold statement today. 

Earlier this week Sir Peter made headlines for financially backing a project to bring the moa back from extinction. This had mixed reactions, with some people excited by the idea, and others saying that whatever animal they came up with wouldn’t be a real moa. 

Today however Jackson believes he and his team of scientists can create a real life fire-breathing dragon, much like Smaug from his movie trilogy The Hobbit. This follows his apparent dissatisfaction with the public’s reaction to his initial moa idea.  

“People keep saying I can’t make a moa and that I could only make a genetically engineered emu! I mean, really? You think I haven’t got enough money to make a real moa? I’m Peter Jackson!” he said in a media session today. 

“I could make whatever animal I wanted to, whether it be extinct, currently alive or mythical. I thought you people would appreciate me for bringing the moa back! Well f*** you, now I’m making a dragon,” he spat unapologetically.

The naysayers (who said the moa would just be an enlarged variation of some other bird) are now unsure where all the genes are going to come from for Jackson to create his monstrosity. 

Dr Nic Rawlence from Otago University says if it was him, he’d start with a standard Komodo dragon and go from there. 

“He’ll probably start with the Komodo, but the first question is how do you get the wings on it? Maybe from one of those little draco lizards that can glide between trees?

“And how the hell is he going to get it breathing fire? Might be easier to stick to making dragons for movies Sir Peter – and of course for Wellington Airport,” he said. 

Jackson meanwhile stormed out of his media session before saying whether iwi Ngai Tahu had been consulted about his dragon spawning idea.

More to come.   

The post MORE THAN THE MOA: Peter Jackson Now Wants To Genetically Engineer Smaug The Dragon appeared first on The Whakataki Times.

WINDS OF CHANGE

Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau is flying high for the first time in months after a snap referendum delivered her an unexpected win — though not everyone is flapping with joy.

In what many are calling a last-ditch attempt to shift her sagging poll numbers, Whanau proposed the removal of the two enormous Lord of the Rings eagles from Wellington Airport. The washed up birds would be replaced by Hurricanes mascot Captain Hurricane in his signature fighter plane, along with All Blacks great Christian Cullen as his copilot.

The referendum passed with a gusty 62% majority, confirming that Wellingtonians are ready to retire the washed up birds of prey in favour of some good honest rugby memorabilia.

“These eagles have had their time,” said Mayor Whanau at a press conference held in front of a wind-blasted council building. “We’re a rugby city, a Hurricanes city. It’s time we had an airport that reflects our true story— not just Peter Jackson’s.”

The new installation will feature Captain Hurricane flying low over the food court, with Cully tucking a ball under one arm and pointing towards the try line — or possibly the Koru Lounge.

Local resident Daryl Ngata summed up the mood: “Honestly, I stopped noticing the eagles years ago. But if I get to see Cully flying a plane every time I land, that’s a win.”

Not everyone is thrilled. Some diehard Tolkien fans have threatened to stage a silent protest dressed as orcs, but even they admit the eagles have looked “a bit faded” since at least 2016.

For Mayor Whanau, it’s a much-needed boost ahead of local elections this October. 

More to come. 

The post Wellingtonians Vote To Replace Eagles At Wellington Airport With Cully And Captain Hurricane appeared first on The Whakataki Times.