IDENTITY ON A PLATE

A 35-year-old public servant from Palmerston North has decided to completely redesign his personality around burgers. This is comes as the annual Wellington on a Plate burger month comes to a close.

Sam Reeves used to be a nice but vanilla bureaucrat at ACC. But since he found himself eating 50 different burgers this month, putting on a cool five kilos, he has decided that burgers could be a way to stand out from the crowd.

“I figured I’d found myself through burgers,” Reeves said at Apache, nursing their Banh Ga mess folded into a bun. “It’s like rediscovering my soul, one patty at a time.”

Back at the ACC offices, colleagues are stunned. “Sam was always pleasant, but you never really remembered him,” said one co-worker. “Now he won’t stop talking about the Happily Ever After from Huxley’s or the Hash Panache from Floriditas. We didn’t know he had this kind of energy in him.”

Reeves has even started linking his new burger obsession to his day job in customer experience design. “The Cumin Cupid burger from Coene’s Bar & Eatery taught me more about layering emotions than any professional course,” he explained. “The way the chilli jam interacts with the beef patty is basically a customer journey in edible form.”

When asked which burger summed him up best, Reeves pointed to A Love Hate Affair from Southern Cross. “It’s chaotic, messy, and way too much, but it makes an impact. That’s me now.”

Reeves is already planning to present his “Burger Learnings” at his next team meeting, complete with a slide deck titled My Burger Journey.

His colleagues are cautiously supportive. “It’s weird, but at least we finally know something about him,” another co-worker said. “Turns out all he needed was 50 burgers and a platform.”

More to come.

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