COMMENTS OPEN

Tauranga’s Keith Williams, 72, has confirmed he has successfully transitioned his long-standing habit of formally complaining to the Broadcasting Standards Authority into what he is calling a “more direct channel.”

The discovery comes following news that the BSA is set to be disestablished, leaving Keith briefly unsure where he would direct his concerns about what he describes as “bloody inappropriate content” on New Zealand television.

“I used to sit down, draft something up, maybe sleep on it, then send it through the proper channels,” says Williams. “Now that the BSA’s disappearing I’ve had to do my duty a different way, which is actually much faster. I can get on Facebook while the ad’s still playing and tell the right people to pull their heads in.”

Keith says the shift has allowed him to respond in real time to issues such as suggestive burger commercials, confusing bank ads and free to air cricket games “being commentated by a bunch of puerile bloody idiots.”

“You see something dodgy or ridiculous, you pause the TV, grab your phone and bang, you’re in the comments,” he explains. “Nine times out of ten someone else has already kicked off about it, so you just add your bit. It’s a good community system.”

Williams says he particularly enjoys the ability to engage directly with others who are equally concerned, often escalating matters well beyond the original issue.

“Next thing you know you’re talking about bloody Jacinda and the decline of society as a whole,” he says. “That wouldn’t happen through a formal complaint form.”

Local friend and occasional viewing companion Steve Rata says Keith has taken to the new platform like a duck to water.

“Before he was spending half an hour writing a complaint, but now he’s doing five or six posts a night, while also getting into angry exchanges with total strangers,” says Rata. “He’s way more productive, to be honest.”

Williams was last seen drafting a Facebook comment about an ad for women’s sanitary products, noting he was “just asking questions” and expecting “a decent response.”

More to come.

The post Regular Complainer To The BSA Discovers He Can Also Cry About Things On Facebook appeared first on The Whakataki Times.

ON THE FRONT FOOT EARLY

Keith Williams, 69, will once again tune in to watch the Hot Spring Spas T20 Black Clash this weekend. Like many cricket lovers his age, he loves everything about the Black Clash except the commentary. 

As the same group of commentators return for the TVNZ broadcast, Keith is geared up to be just as outraged and offended as he was last year. This will be his fourth consecutive year of failing to understand that the Alternative Commentary Collective is not meant to be taken too seriously, and is just a bit of fun to make sport more accessible to a wider audience.

With the game on Saturday night, and a busy day in the garden planned for Sunday, Keith spent most of Thursday doing a general outline of his inevitable complaint to the Broadcasting Standards Authority. 

“They’ll breach standards again, Facebook’s not listening, so it’ll have to go through the BSA.

“Still don’t know who these commentators are or where they came from, but I’ve planned my key points about what I’m going to be upset about. 

“God, remember when they said Chris Harris was 65?! He was 50 at the time!” said a bewildered Williams.  

Our reporters learned that Keith is taking a methodical approach to expressing his resolute disgust. “Dug up my Facebook comments from two years ago, re-use those. No point reinventing the wheel is there?!”, laughed the retiree and lawncare enthusiast. 

“Jotted down a few adjectives that will go well. So far I’ve got ‘unprofessional’, ‘irritating’, ‘irrelevant’, ‘tiresome’, ‘vacuous’, ‘idiotic’, ‘childish’, ‘vulgar’, ‘obnoxious’, ‘puerile’ and ‘pathetic’. Got the thesaurus there too if I need it.

“During the game I’ll write down whatever foul, immature and downright stupid things those idiots say during their “commentary”. Should be a good game!”

Williams has said that he just does not know what goes through the minds of the people running TVNZ. “What the hell are they thinking? It’s like there’s a bunch of bloody schoolboys running the show”, he sighed, shaking his head slowly and looking at the ground.

“All I want to know is, where is the accountability?”

More to come. 

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