CRACK DOWN CONTINUES

Sophie Campbell, a 27-year-old CrossFit enthusiast, found herself in hot water today after unwittingly becoming one of the first people targeted under New Zealand’s newly enacted gang patch ban. 

The Wellingtonian was proudly wearing a black hoodie emblazoned with the name of her premium CrossFit gym, Urban Fitness and was stopped by police while walking through Lambton Quay.

The law, introduced just yesterday, was aimed at curbing gang intimidation in public spaces. However, authorities have swiftly widened its scope to include anyone displaying “potentially provocative branding,” such as CrossFit gym logos that, according to police, evoke “cultish loyalty, physical intimidation, and the potential to inspire unwarranted lunges in public.”

Campbell, a graphic designer and part-time yoga teacher, said she was “stunned” when the officers approached her.

“They asked if my top symbolised any ‘affiliation,’ and I said, ‘Yes, I do CrossFit.’ Suddenly, it was like I had just confessed to some kind of drug trafficking operation,” Campbell said, visibly shaken.

“One officer actually said, ‘These logos can intimidate people who don’t work out.’ – I mean, come on. If I intimidate someone, it’s not because of what I’m wearing—it’s because I can hold a plank longer than they can hold a conversation.”

More to come. 

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The post Patch Ban Extended To Include Logos Of Expensive Cross Fit Gyms appeared first on The Whakataki Times.

Whakataki fitness enthusiast Jayden Connolly, 29, has been unceremoniously dumped by his crossfit gym, Fit Freak Elite, for essentially not fitting the profile of the average crossfitter. 

According to an email from Fit Freak Elite, Connolly had failed to meet the expectation that he give the gym free social media exposure by posting workout pics on his personal Instagram page and tagging them.

“I’m just not that much of a social media guy aye, I’ve got Instagram but I might do maybe like one post a month? Maybe if I get a brunch that looks particularly impressive on the plate I’ll take a quick snap, but shit this is disappointing.

“If anything I leave my bloody phone in my bag when I’m at the gym. Just wanna smash my workout, not take bloody photos of it!”

Fit Freak Elite owner and head instructor Ryan McAnulty, 40, is in no doubt about the decision. “I mean, if you’re a crossfit guy, it’s a given that you flood your social media with workout pics and generally never shut up about how much you love crossfit. It’s pretty obvious that Jayden’s in the wrong here.

“Look, he’s a good lad but gyms like mine depend on people posting on social media. It’s part of a wider strategy to not spend a single cent on advertising or marketing!”

Connolly concedes that there had been some talk about his lack of social media posting before he was axed. “Yeah okay Ryan mentioned that he hadn’t seen any workout pics from me and said that his members loved to regularly post and tag his gym, but fuck me I didn’t think he was going to kick me out!”

When asked about future membership cancellations, McAnulty didn’t seem too worried. “Nah pretty sure this was a one-off. Jayden’s a different breed, a real weirdo. If he wants to just work out and not take photos he can go to bloody City Fitness.

“I mean, who the hell ever heard of a crossfitter who doesn’t want to bore people to death about crossfit!”    

The post Cross-fit Gym Cancels Bloke’s Membership After His Repeated Failure To Post Workout Pics On Instagram appeared first on The Whakataki Times.