AHEAD OF THE GAME

Benji Davies isn’t the type of person who is usually organised in his life. 

But that perception went out the window this afternoon, as the 27 year-old purchased a 750ml Mountain Blast blue Powerade from Night ‘n Day Hagley, in anticipation of being viciously hungover tomorrow morning. 

Our reporters were with Davies while was at the checkout.

“Gidday guys, yeah there’s no doubt I’ll be needing this haha. Got a get together with some of my old mates from school. It will be hard to take it easy. Nothing like seeing the lads!” grinned Davies knowing very well that he’s going to consume multiple alcoholic beverages into the early hours of the morning, resulting in a bone cracking hangover.

“Gonna be great to have this by my bedside for once when I wake though. I’m sure after the first few sips the taste will come back. Presuming my mouth will be dryer than the Sahara desert haha.”

Davies’ girlfriend Tara Evans was equally impressed with Benji’s premature Powerade purchase.

“Honestly it’s good to see him do something that’ll help him for once in his life, even if it is just alleviating a violent hangover.” 

“Usually, he wakes up and stumbles down the hallway to the bathroom where he runs the tap and just tries to cup handfuls of water into his mouth,” Evans explained, having seen Benji at his absolute worst multiple times. 

As reporters wrapped up, Davies was seen doubling back down the aisle.

“Actually, might grab some Panadol too,” he called out. “Night ’n Day’s got everything, don’t they? Might as well make the most of it.”

Davies later thanked the store staff on his way out, saying it was “good to know someone’s always got your back, even when you don’t.”

More to come.

The post Local Bloke Leans Into Tomorrow’s Hangover With Pre-Purchased Blue Powerade appeared first on The Whakataki Times.

Simon Marshall didn’t need to say anything to his workmates this morning – his blue Powerade did all the talking. 

The 29 year old quantity surveyor from Levin may as well have put a sign up saying “Viciously hungover, do not disturb”. Whakataki Construction account manager Jake Brooks agreed to provide his witness account of this shameless display.

“Oh yep, blue Powerade for breakfast, Simon’s struggling. Classic. Called the blue ambulance”.

“See those crumbs on his chin? He’s definitely smashed a mince and cheese on the way here”, Brooks speculated. 

“God, look at him. He just does not want to be here”.

While Brooks generally looked upon Marshall with mild revulsion, he did have some level of admiration for his effort. “Good on him for coming in I suppose. Just needs to keep his head down and not attempt anything ambitious like expressing an opinion in a meeting”.

The Whakataki Times can confirm that when Simon’s manager went off site to meet a client, Simon mysteriously vanished from the office shortly after.    

More to come.

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The post Man In Office With Blue Powerade Signals Midweek Hangover appeared first on The Whakataki Times.

“But he’s not even hungover!”

On Sunday morning Whakataki local Ben Fenton, 28, purchased and consumed a 750mL “Mountain-blast” flavoured Powerade, not because he was viciously hungover from the night before, but because his body was craving electrolytes after a bout of strenuous exercise. 

Blue powerade has long been known to cure hangovers, but until now we have not been able to find any documented accounts of it being consumed as a sports drink. Fenton has achieved what many believe is a first for New Zealand – and he was as surprised as anyone.

“Dunno what came over me, I just felt like a powerade after my run. I didn’t even have a massive night last night!

“To be honest I ended up staying home with the missus, watched a boring romantic comedy. The boys were trying to get me out but I said I had no money this week… which was a bit of a lie but, sometimes you just can’t be fucked, y’know?”

Mark Chan, 51, the owner of the Blue Moon Dairy where Fenton purchased the drink, said that he’d never seen anything like it. “You can see blue powerade drinkers coming from a mile off. They’re always slow-moving, bleary-eyed.. often wearing their town clothes from the night before. Their hangovers are very visible.

“But this guy comes along in his running gear, still sweating from exercise. And you could tell he was feeling a general sense of achievement. Really confusing to see him marching up to the counter with a blue Powerade in hand”.

23-year-old JJ Campbell, one of Chan’s regular Sunday blue Powerade customers, described how he uses the popular drink. “It just wakes you up a bit, gets rid of the dry mouth for a while, and generally eases the deep feeling of regret. 

“Dunno why you would bother if you didn’t have a life-threatening hangover, but each to their own I guess”.

The Whakataki Times will continue its investigation into whether Ben Fenton has indeed achieved a first for New Zealand. More to come.

The post Blue Powerade Consumed As Sports Drink, Dubbed a First For New Zealand appeared first on The Whakataki Times.