GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics
THE MASERATI!
Talkback radio host Mike Hosking is naturally outraged at tonight’s 1News Kantar Poll, which has Labour ahead of National 36% to 34%.
Shortly after the result, Hosking, a prominent National Party supporter, took it upon himself to ram raid TVNZ’s headquarters in an attempt to destroy polling equipment and force the state broadcaster to release a new poll showing National in front.
As he backed his badly damaged Maserati from the wall of TVNZ, the radio host was evidently still in an emotionally charged state. “This is ridiculous! This is the worst government the country’s ever had and somehow they’re in front. People just aren’t bloody listening are they??!
“Health system in crisis, education in the toilet, crime through the roof… I’ve just caused wilful damage to private property and I doubt the cops will even turn up!” ranted an irate Hosking.
“My car’s buggered from the smash, which is a shame because I liked this one. I can see why the kids prefer to steal Mazda Demios for their ram-raids. Clearly I’ve got a lot to learn.”
When asked whether he truly thought that National would be less useless than Labour, he appeared to think that was not the point. “Doesn’t actually matter at this stage. The country has become observably worse over the last five years, and Labour have been in charge for the last five years. Doesn’t take a genius to know it’s time to give someone else a go,” he said.
“If you’re a voter and you want a good outcome you don’t go and back a three-legged horse, do you?”
More to come.
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