More culture

shocked teen girl in mall on phone

Teen Who “Literally Died” Miraculously Still Alive

THE SECOND COMING…

A young Gen Zed-er has defied death itself by telling her friends about the time she passed away.

Beth O’Malley was talking to a friend, casually retelling a mildly embarrassing encounter with the parents of her ex-boyfriend, when she made the stunning revelation.

“…I was just like, ‘Aaahhh’. I literally died,” she concluded.

Read More »
woman eating chocolate, thinking of valentines gifts

Single Millennial Maintains Valentine’s Is A Fake Holiday And Is Happy Being Alone

NO I’M FINE. 

32 year old Josie Warden has hardened her position on the polarising Valentine’s holiday debate, characterising the day as a scam perpetuated by the chocolate and flower industries.

The senior marketing manager at JSI (Just Sell It) also maintained, without any prompting at all, that she was totally fine and happy with her life with no significant other.

“Look, this is obvious, right? No one actually wants this so-called ‘holiday’. It just creates an unnecessary expectation for people to buy stuff,” she explained while appearing totally fine.

Read More »

Liking the Whakataki culture section? Want to keep it going? Become a backer by making a one-off donation.

How much do you reckon?

Up to you how much
$

Less recent culture news

24 year old corporate woman smiling confidently as coworkers look on in shock

Woman Shocks Colleagues By Revealing She Was Born In 2000

FRIGHTENING.

Ella McPhail, a seemingly mature and accomplished professional, dropped a bombshell on her unsuspecting colleagues today.

The 23 year-old who will turn 24 later this year, was in a mundane Wednesday morning conversation when one of her co-workers mentioned something about the company’s profits in the year 2000.

“Ha, same year I was born,” Ella said, a comment which would send shockwaves through her co-workers.

Read More »
Lighthouse with W for Whakataki Times

The Whakataki Times – your go-to for kiwi culture.

Quite old culture

best man giving speech at wedding with ChatGPT in foreground

Impressive and Touching Best Man’s Speech Reeks of ChatGPT

ARTIFICIAL ELOQUENCE

A best man’s speech at a recent wedding has left attendees wondering if it was generated by none other than the ChatGPT. The speech, delivered by Donovan Woodham, a mate of the groom, was hailed as “impressive and touching” by some, but others couldn’t shake the feeling that the words stunk of artificial intelligence.

The wedding, held in a picturesque vineyard in Hawke’s Bay, saw Woodham captivate his audience with tales of the groom’s misadventures and triumphs. While many expected the usual mix of embarrassing anecdotes and heartfelt sentiments, there was an uncanny precision to Woodham’s words that left guests questioning their authenticity.

Read More »
cat sitting outside home at christmas time.

Ungrateful Cat Doesn’t Bother Showing Up For Christmas Even Though We Got Him A Present

Upper Hutt-based tabby, Reggie is in the running for grinch of the year this year.

The three year old tom cat has disappointed his family for the second year running after not making an appearance at the Christmas morning present unwrapping.

The Thompsons, from the suburb of Totara Park, do the first part of their gift giving at 7 o’clock on Christmas morning, as this is about as long as the kids can control themselves.

Read More »
couple with santa hats and mitre 10 voucher

Christmas Anger Predicted If New Home Owners Do Not Receive Mitre 10 Vouchers

BANKING ON IT.

Steve and Amber Jacobs bought their house just over a year ago now, but are still in dire need of DIY resources. 

The couple received vouchers for Mitre 10 and Bunnings last Christmas and found them extensively useful for buying house and garden tools – things that you would never need while flatting. 

“Got vouchers from both our parents and Amber’s brother and they were just what we needed,” said Steve, 32, a customer service team leader.

Read More »
tired boy looking out window for santa

Strung Out 7-Year-Old Enters Seventh Night on Santa Watch

UP PAST BEDTIME!

The nights seem to be getting longer for Dylan Moffat, whose determination to spot Santa’s magical flying sleigh has resulted in serious sleep deprivation. 

Speaking to this reporter, the 7-year-old was visibly strung out. Eyes as red as Rudolph’s nose were the most obvious sign that this kid may have been up past bedtime, but the reality was much harsher.

Read More »

Let’s do business. Ads?  Sponsorship? Get in touch.