Culture | The Whakataki Times

man at colour centre with white colour swatches

Marriage Frays As Husband Fails To See Difference Between White Paint Colour Swatches

October 17, 2024

“ALL THE SAME TO ME”.

Josh Krawley was thoroughly unhelpful during an unscheduled visit to Mitre 10 last weekend.

The 32 year old builder stared blankly at his wife Cara, who had just asked him which white he preferred for painting the lounge. “It was like I was looking at two identical cards of the exact same colour,” he said to reporters, deliberately choosing not to use the word “swatches”.

man on phone with IRD and dave dobbyn in background.

Slice Of Heaven Song Fails To Ease Hellish Reality For Man On Hold To IRD

October 16, 2024

EVEN DAVE CAN’T SAVE.

After close to an hour on hold with the IRD, Andrew Young, 32, has lost all sense of time, space, and faith in bureaucratic efficiency.

One Beer After Work On Friday Once Again Results In Bloke Coming Home At 2 AM

October 5, 2024

LIKE CLOCKWORK.

Ryan Keats, a 29-year-old tradie from Christchurch once again found himself stumbling through the door in the early hours of Saturday morning after promising his girlfriend Sophie he’d “just have one.”

Man Forgoes Midnight Glass Of Water And Instead Slurps Like A Dog From Bathroom Tap

October 2, 2024

KIWI EFFICIENCY.

When Mike Higgins woke up with a dry mouth at 2.45 this morning, the idea of going downstairs to the kitchen for a glass of water didn’t hold much appeal.

35 Year-Old Going To BYO Destined To Be Upset By The Price Of Corkage

September 3, 2024

MORE THAN THE BOTTLE ITSELF

Chris Gibbons clearly hasn’t been out in a while.

The 35 year-old from Christchurch, who was initially upbeat about going to a midweek birthday BYO, was in for a shock at how much corkage would be for the cheap bottle of wine he was bringing.

mum looking at stern child with the wiggles in the background

Millennial Mum Feels Personally Attacked By Three Year Old Son Who “Hates The Wiggles”

August 6, 2024

HOT POTATO.

When Joanne Wade had her first son Xavier, she often had pleasant daydreams about how she could relive her own childhood with him, once he was a bit older.

CRUSHING IT: Public Service Superstar Collects Enough Manager Signoffs To Actually Start On Some Work

May 22, 2024

DESTINED FOR GREATNESS.

Annabelle Robinson, a rising star at the Ministry of Business Innovation and Employment (MBIE), has absolutely smashed it at work this week.

man laughs sheepishly with nek minnit video in background

Local Bloke Lets Slip A “Nek Minnit” Like It’s 2011

May 15, 2024

BLAST FROM THE PAST.

Jay Holland, 33, caused a stir in his office yesterday when he accidentally dropped a “Nek Minnit” during casual conversation.

man in kitchen thinking about rubbish bags

Local Man Doing Weekly Shop At Pak n Save Naturally Forgets The Council Rubbish Bags

May 13, 2024

CHECKOUT AUTOPILOT.

New dad Nathan Davidson has been feeling good about taking on the weekly grocery shopping duties, now that wife Shannon has her hands full with two month old Isaac.

Top culture story

Marriage Frays As Husband Fails To See Difference Between White Paint Colour Swatches

Cultural headlines

Local Woman With New Air Fryer Talks About Air Fryer

Christchurch Newcomer Begins Five Year Probation Period Before Being Welcomed Into Friend Group

Local Man On Third Blue V Of The Day Wondering Why He Feels So Average

Desperately Under-Prepared New Dad Discovers “How To Dad” Is More Of A Comedy Thing

Local Bloke Not On Facebook Happily Misses Event He Didn’t Know About

More culture

Slice Of Heaven Song Fails To Ease Hellish Reality For Man On Hold To IRD

One Beer After Work On Friday Once Again Results In Bloke Coming Home At 2 AM

Man Forgoes Midnight Glass Of Water And Instead Slurps Like A Dog From Bathroom Tap

How much do you reckon?

Less recent culture news

35 Year-Old Going To BYO Destined To Be Upset By The Price Of Corkage

Oasis Back Together But Still No Clear Signs Of A Comeback From Ben Lummis

Beervana Activates Hordes Of Men Confidently Swaggering Through Central Wellington

Facebook Memories Unrelenting In Reminding Bloke How Cringe He Was At 18

Millennial Accepts Old Age After Only Being Able To Recognise Dave Dobbyn’s Name In RnV Lineup

Quite old culture

Millennial Mum Feels Personally Attacked By Three Year Old Son Who “Hates The Wiggles”

MAXIMUM CRINGE: New Zealand Distancing Itself From TVNZ Breakfast After Trump Doll Video Resurfaces

COST OF LIVING CRISIS: Bloke Channels His Inner Student With Two Minute Noodles And Cold House

Melancholy Millennial Spends Third Consecutive Day on Sofa

Fed Up Office Worker Once Again Googles “How To Make Money Online”

Former Colleagues Run Into Each Other In Town, Agree To Have Coffee Sometime, And Then Never Do

Unlucky Public Servant Has Voluntary Redundancy Application Turned Down

Christchurch Matches On Tinder Now Autofill Chat With “What School Did You Go To?”

Man With Family To Feed And Bills To Pay Goes To Work As Usual

Massive Own Goal As Man Picks Up Burger And Chips On Way Home From Gym

LinkedIn Bloke’s New “Open To Work” Banner Definitely Doesn’t Stink Of Desperation

CRUSHING IT: Public Service Superstar Collects Enough Manager Signoffs To Actually Start On Some Work

Local Bloke Lets Slip A “Nek Minnit” Like It’s 2011

Local Man Doing Weekly Shop At Pak n Save Naturally Forgets The Council Rubbish Bags

DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.