RELAX AND UNWIND.

A Wellington woman has been making waves over the last couple of weeks, when it was revealed that her stressful job in parliament has not pushed her into a life of crime. 

As a high-ranking advisor at the Department of the Prime Minister and Cabinet, 39 year old Maria Jarman says that instead of stealing thousands of dollars worth of retail items on the weekends, she tends to occasionally have one or two wines after work to de-stress.  

“Yeah nothing special, I maybe will splash out on a $20 bottle of wine at New World,” she said as she had a sip of Hawke’s Bay pinot gris.

LEGIT QUESTION.

Tim Jones doesn’t usually mind getting the first round of drinks for his best mate Sam.

However at a quaint bar on Wellington’s Lambton Quay, Tim nearly had a mild stroke when the bartender pushed the EFTPOS machine towards him, as it proudly displayed the amount to pay as $29.00.

Staring at the two golden looking hazy IPA’s he just ordered, he thought there’d been some sort of mistake, or that the bartender thought he ordered three in total.

KEEPING THEM UPDATED

Elise Robertson felt like she was doing her friends a duty of care with her constant posts from festivals over the summer. 

Elise, a self-proclaimed festival aficionado, recently attended both Rolling Meadows and Juicy Fest in Christchurch, documenting every beat, bass drop, and questionable dance move on her Instagram story. 

“I just assumed people who knew I was going to these festivals wanted to hear what the music was like. I just wanted to keep them updated ya know?” The 24 year-old explained, unaware that her friends were growing sick and tired of her constant posts from the summer festivals.”