The Whakataki Times | Trusted news that's important

man on computer, with christian cullen highlights in background

Man With Work To Do Suddenly Drops Everything To Google “Christian Cullen Highlights”

March 24, 2023

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport

Chippy Hipkins thinking about burning the fart tax on policy bonfire at parliament

Chippy Hipkins Reckons The Fart Tax Would Actually Burn Quite Well On His Policy Bonfire

March 23, 2023

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics

Scott Robertson with schick razor

Schick Announces Limited Edition “Razor Robertson” Quattro

March 21, 2023

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National

Scott Robertson in suit with all blacks branding behind him.

NZ Rugby Does Big Office Clean Out And Finds Their Logic And Reason

March 21, 2023

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport

guards outside Wuhan Institute Of Virology

CNN Now Saying Virus Probably Came From That Big Building Full Of Viruses

March 1, 2023

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | World

man asleep on couch with maccas and sport on tv

Man Leans In To Sunday Hangover By Extending It To Monday

February 27, 2023

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture

Christchurch Woman Rated As Socially Acceptable After Correctly Answering The “What School Did You Go To?” Question

February 22, 2023

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture

woman looking sheepish next to laptop and cocaine with floating shipment of cocaine in background next to navy ship

Losing A Company Laptop Definitely Not As Bad As Losing 3.2 Tonnes Of Cocaine

February 9, 2023

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National

boat in dairy

LIFE GOES ON: Undeterred By Flooding, Auckland Teen Ramraids Dairy In Motorboat

January 30, 2023

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National

man in front of flooded road

Auckland Dad Who Usually Says “We Needed This Rain” Now Very Quiet

January 28, 2023

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National

DISCLAIMER: NZ satire has a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news website, which means the stories are made up for comedic effect.