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Top story

man at computer desk in open plan office.

MBIE Bloke Receives “Values Shout Out” For Doing Thing He Said He Would Do In An Email

November 6, 2025

OUTSTANDING SERVICE.

Recent headlines

American man looking confused about the all blacks.

All Blacks Travelling To Chicago Hoping They Don’t Expand Global Confusion About Rugby

October 28, 2025

man fishing and thinking about fish and chips.

Man Spends $2k On Fishing Rods And Gets Nothing But Sunburn And Fish And Chips

October 26, 2025

man facepalming after exploding beer in freezer.

Man Suddenly Remembers Beer In Freezer Moments After Mysterious Kitchen Explosion

October 25, 2025

man with beer in office.

Flexible Working Officially Blamed For The Death Of Friday Office Drinks

October 24, 2025

te pati maori ripping and burning paper

Te Pāti Māori On The Lookout For New Ways To Destroy Pieces Of Paper They Don’t Like

October 22, 2025

News

Man with horse race behind him and TAB app open on phone.

Local Punter Gears Up for Annual Tradition of Losing Money On Melbourne Cup Day

November 3, 2025

TOTE TRAUMA.

David Seymour confronted by trick or treaters dressed as the capital gains tax.

David Seymour Spooked By Trick Or Treaters Dressed Up As The Capital Gains Tax

October 31, 2025

FRIGHT NIGHT.

woman at computer in office.

Local Woman Claims The Short Week Feels Just As Long Because You Have To Fit More In

October 30, 2025

TIME WARP.

Less recent news

wellingtonian nonplussed by wind.

Hard-Nosed Wellingtonian Describes This Week’s Weather As “Quite Windy Ay”

October 21, 2025

CAN’T BEAT IT ON A GOOD DAY THOUGH.

man asleep at desk

Bloke’s Hangover Now Creeping Into Tuesday

October 20, 2025

man on computer thinking about "have your say" survey.

JUST FOR FUN: Bloke Doing Anonymous Staff Engagement Survey Selects “Strongly Disagree” For Every Question

October 19, 2025

hipkins doing haka in parliament

Attention-Starved Chris Hipkins Planning Labour’s First Parliament Haka

October 17, 2025

greens with their keffiyehs and laundry pile.

Swarbrick And The Greens In Need Of New Team Kit Now That There’s Peace In The Middle East

October 14, 2025

The Whakataki Times – the backbone of New Zealand’s news.

Quite old news

woman on laptop looking at Seek.

Job Seeker Shocked To Learn Entry-Level Role Requires 10 Years Experience In Entry-Level Roles

October 13, 2025

GRAD TRAP.

man sitting on couch thinking about work.

SUNDAY HORRORS: Public Servant Tries Hard To Ignore Weekly Feeling Of Existential Dread

October 12, 2025

man buying beers at checkout

Bloke’s Heart Sinks As Countdown Cashier Casually Waves Him Through Without ID Or Eye Contact

October 10, 2025

Judith Collins with her new govt app

Government Struggling To Explain What’s Inconvenient About Having A Wallet With A Licence In It

October 9, 2025

chloe swarbrick with winston in front of smashed window

Swarbrick Relieved It Wasn’t One Of Her MPs Doxxing Winston Or Smashing His Windows

October 8, 2025

man with camera and woman posing in cherry blossom garden behind

Hapless Boyfriend Of Instagram Gets Wheeled Out For Cherry Blossom Photoshoot

October 6, 2025

storm fan

NRL GRAND FINAL: New Zealander With Zero Ties To Melbourne Suddenly Becomes Lifelong Storm Fan

October 3, 2025

man watching cricket on couch.

“I’m My Own Man Now”: Local Bloke Enjoys Free To Air Cricket Without Tapping Into Parents’ SkyGo Account

October 1, 2025

virtual luxon

Luxon’s PR Team Making AI Version Of Him That Seems More Human

September 29, 2025

man drinking and thinking about roigard and razor

Old Boy At The Pub Adds Cam Roigard To His Good Books But Not Razor

September 28, 2025

HERE WE GO.

aussie fan with VHS tape looking for VCR

Wallabies Fan Searching For VCR Hoping To Watch Australia’s Last Bledisloe Win

September 25, 2025

MEMORY LANE.

office workers outside building during fire drill

Wellington Office Workers Briefly Remember They’re Alive During Thrilling Fire Drill

September 24, 2025

SIGNS OF LIFE.

Sport

Man with horse race behind him and TAB app open on phone.

Local Punter Gears Up for Annual Tradition of Losing Money On Melbourne Cup Day

November 3, 2025

TOTE TRAUMA.

American man looking confused about the all blacks.

All Blacks Travelling To Chicago Hoping They Don’t Expand Global Confusion About Rugby

October 28, 2025

storm fan

NRL GRAND FINAL: New Zealander With Zero Ties To Melbourne Suddenly Becomes Lifelong Storm Fan

October 3, 2025

man watching cricket on couch.

“I’m My Own Man Now”: Local Bloke Enjoys Free To Air Cricket Without Tapping Into Parents’ SkyGo Account

October 1, 2025

man drinking and thinking about roigard and razor

Old Boy At The Pub Adds Cam Roigard To His Good Books But Not Razor

September 28, 2025

HERE WE GO.

aussie fan with VHS tape looking for VCR

Wallabies Fan Searching For VCR Hoping To Watch Australia’s Last Bledisloe Win

September 25, 2025

Wallabies celebrating despite All Blacks winning record

Wallabies Certain This Year Is Different, Despite 23 Years Of It Not Being Different

September 23, 2025

razor angrily thinking about loss.

All Blacks Coaching Staff On High Alert For Any Laughing Or Smiling At Training This Week

September 15, 2025

dejected all blacks

All Blacks Get Their Match Fees Docked For Not Turning Up For Second Half

September 14, 2025

old boy at pub talking about Scott Robertson

Old Boy At The Pub Tells Anyone Who’ll Listen Exactly What He Thinks Of Razor’s All Blacks

September 12, 2025

all blacks celebrating and question mark hanging over south african mate

Local Man Investigating Sudden Eerie Silence From South African Mate In Group Chat

September 7, 2025

suzie the waitress in front of all blacks match

BIG GAME: All Blacks Hope Suzie The Waitress Isn’t Making A Comeback Ahead Of South Africa Clash

September 5, 2025

Justin Marshall on waikato river thinking about playing days.

ALL BLACKS HALFBACK CRISIS: Justin Marshall Seen Whitebaiting Down The Waikato River

September 2, 2025

Chris Wood playing football with headline about tvnz world cup rights.

TVNZ Snaps Up Sporting Rights In Last Ditch Effort To Get People To Watch Them

August 25, 2025

man remembering the old days of all blacks, with the current all blacks losing to argentina in the background.

All Blacks Fan Misses The Days When Only A Couple Of Teams Could Realistically Beat Them

August 24, 2025

Culture

man at computer desk in open plan office.

MBIE Bloke Receives “Values Shout Out” For Doing Thing He Said He Would Do In An Email

November 6, 2025

OUTSTANDING SERVICE.

woman at computer in office.

Local Woman Claims The Short Week Feels Just As Long Because You Have To Fit More In

October 30, 2025

man fishing and thinking about fish and chips.

Man Spends $2k On Fishing Rods And Gets Nothing But Sunburn And Fish And Chips

October 26, 2025

man facepalming after exploding beer in freezer.

Man Suddenly Remembers Beer In Freezer Moments After Mysterious Kitchen Explosion

October 25, 2025

man with beer in office.

Flexible Working Officially Blamed For The Death Of Friday Office Drinks

October 24, 2025

wellingtonian nonplussed by wind.

Hard-Nosed Wellingtonian Describes This Week’s Weather As “Quite Windy Ay”

October 21, 2025

CAN’T BEAT IT ON A GOOD DAY THOUGH.

man asleep at desk

Bloke’s Hangover Now Creeping Into Tuesday

October 20, 2025

man on computer thinking about "have your say" survey.

JUST FOR FUN: Bloke Doing Anonymous Staff Engagement Survey Selects “Strongly Disagree” For Every Question

October 19, 2025

woman on laptop looking at Seek.

Job Seeker Shocked To Learn Entry-Level Role Requires 10 Years Experience In Entry-Level Roles

October 13, 2025

man sitting on couch thinking about work.

SUNDAY HORRORS: Public Servant Tries Hard To Ignore Weekly Feeling Of Existential Dread

October 12, 2025

man buying beers at checkout

Bloke’s Heart Sinks As Countdown Cashier Casually Waves Him Through Without ID Or Eye Contact

October 10, 2025

man with camera and woman posing in cherry blossom garden behind

Hapless Boyfriend Of Instagram Gets Wheeled Out For Cherry Blossom Photoshoot

October 6, 2025

office workers outside building during fire drill

Wellington Office Workers Briefly Remember They’re Alive During Thrilling Fire Drill

September 24, 2025

annoyed woman on train

Public Transport Advocate Wishes It Was a Little Less Public

September 22, 2025

king's college student thinking of rome.

King’s Boy Feeling The Cost Of Living Pinch After Only Getting Two Overseas Trips This Year

September 18, 2025

go on.. get some pies.

Politics

David Seymour confronted by trick or treaters dressed as the capital gains tax.

David Seymour Spooked By Trick Or Treaters Dressed Up As The Capital Gains Tax

October 31, 2025

FRIGHT NIGHT.

te pati maori ripping and burning paper

Te Pāti Māori On The Lookout For New Ways To Destroy Pieces Of Paper They Don’t Like

October 22, 2025

hipkins doing haka in parliament

Attention-Starved Chris Hipkins Planning Labour’s First Parliament Haka

October 17, 2025

Judith Collins with her new govt app

Government Struggling To Explain What’s Inconvenient About Having A Wallet With A Licence In It

October 9, 2025

chloe swarbrick with winston in front of smashed window

Swarbrick Relieved It Wasn’t One Of Her MPs Doxxing Winston Or Smashing His Windows

October 8, 2025

Luxon and Hipkins dancing on stage humiliatingly.

Support Growing For Proposed Total Ban On Politicians Dancing In Public

August 17, 2025

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

hipkins running on wellington waterfront.

Hipkins Joins Trendy New Run Club After Running From Public Inquiry

August 14, 2025

chloe at her desk outside parliament

Chlöe Made To Drag Her Desk Outside And Stop Disrupting The Class

August 13, 2025

Nicola Willis In Charge Of Redesigning National Party Logo To Better Represent Priorities

August 13, 2025

angry Swarbrick with team and team kit

Swarbrick Kicked Out Of Parliament For The Week Now Has No Excuse For Not Washing Team Kit

August 12, 2025

Leigh Hart and Chris Luxon with Snackachangi chips.

National Looks To Quietly Swap Out Luxon With Snackachangi Chips Guy

July 28, 2025

seymour and nicola willis

NICOLA WILLIS DRESSGATE: Seymour Annoyed No One’s Asked About His New Suit From Hallensteins

May 27, 2025

man on the couch and brooke van velden on tv

“WAIT, WHAT?”: Local Bloke Snapped Out Of Couch-Based Doom Scroll By Brooky’s C-Bomb

May 14, 2025

Corin Dann, Chloe Swarbrick and Winston Peters at RNZ studio.

Corin Dann Books In Three Nice Chlöe Interviews To Make Up For That Mean Winston One

April 23, 2025

chloe thinking about her three troublesome MPs

Chlöe Confronts Reality That If Golriz And Darleen Had Obeyed The Law Then She Wouldn’t Be Stuck With Old Bussy Boy

April 4, 2025

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