LIKE CLOCKWORK.
Ryan Keats, a 29-year-old tradie from Christchurch once again found himself stumbling through the door in the early hours of Saturday morning after promising his girlfriend Sophie he’d “just have one.”
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport IN YOUR HEAD Former members of the Irish rock band, The Cranberries, were surprised to see an uptick in streams they were getting in New Zealand this week. Their song “Zombie” is connected to the spat between All Blacks centre/troll Rieko Ioane, and former Irish captain
“WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING?”
45-year-old Dave Garrett from Taranaki has confidently informed his mates, yet again, that Beauden Barrett should have been the All Blacks’ first-five all along.
KIWI EFFICIENCY.
When Mike Higgins woke up with a dry mouth at 2.45 this morning, the idea of going downstairs to the kitchen for a glass of water didn’t hold much appeal.
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TORY FROM TURNERS.
Instead of copping more flak over her recent media missteps, Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau has had some surprisingly good news – she’s reportedly in the running to replace Tina from Turners, New Zealand’s beloved spokesperson for Turners Car Auctions.
The Whakataki Times – the backbone of New Zealand’s news.
NO INSTRUCTION MANUAL.
Morgan Dellman, a chronically laid back 30 year old from Dunedin, has just realised he’s made a drastic miscalculation in his entry into fatherhood.
TIME MANAGEMENT.
All Blacks goal kicker Damian McKenzie has been forced to apologise to his teammates for missing the bus from San Diego, following their match against Fiji. McKenzie had to make his own way to Los Angeles airport, a 210 km journey.
HITTING THE BOOKS.
After going viral with her polarising breaking routine at the Paris Olympics, B-girl Raygun has returned to what she does best – writing convoluted academic essays about urban culture.
HOO HEY RACHEL RAY.
Scott “Razor” Robertson might soon be ousted from his throne if performances don’t improve. His potential replacement? None other than Rachael “Raygun” Gunn, the most talked about breakdancer in the world.
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport IN YOUR HEAD Former members of the Irish rock band, The Cranberries, were surprised to see an uptick in streams they were getting in New Zealand this week. Their song “Zombie” is connected to the spat between All Blacks centre/troll Rieko Ioane, and former Irish captain
HOT TOPIC.
All Blacks superstar Beauden Barrett has decided to let his Instagram followers across the world decide what position he should play for the remainder of this year’s international season.
LIKE CLOCKWORK.
Ryan Keats, a 29-year-old tradie from Christchurch once again found himself stumbling through the door in the early hours of Saturday morning after promising his girlfriend Sophie he’d “just have one.”
NO INSTRUCTION MANUAL.
Morgan Dellman, a chronically laid back 30 year old from Dunedin, has just realised he’s made a drastic miscalculation in his entry into fatherhood.
BRINGING HOME THE BACON.
With Darleen Tana’s husband’s bike shop going out of business, the former Green MP is glad she has something safe and reliable to fall back on.
TIGHT SCHEDULE.
New Zealand Prime Minister Christopher Luxon was all geared up to meet with the US President this week, as he travelled to Washington DC for the NATO summit.
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