MAKING A POINT.
Alex Devlin, 27 from Wellington, took to social media today to proudly share his Spotify Wrapped results, which showcased a meticulously curated lineup of artists no one else seems to know.
ROAD TO RUIN.
The brains trust at TVNZ have once again made the opposite of a good decision.
THE AUCKLAND WAY.
As Auckland FC continue their dream run in their first season of the A-League, Chairman Bill Foley is preparing for the absolute worst and most likely scenario.
WE GET IT, YOU’RE THERE.
The National government has announced its intention to extend the controversial ban on gang patches to tackle another societal menace: Instagram stories flooded with festival footage.
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SCHOOLING THE SYSTEM.
Sophie Cooper, a happy go-lucky go-getter had no idea her lack of Christchurch school history would leave her on the fringes of the city’s social circles.
The Whakataki Times – the backbone of New Zealand’s news.
FULLY SENDING IT.
Christchurch woman Loren Ashley, 26, appeared the picture of elegance in her latest Instagram post, posing at the Riccarton Races in a stunning dress, matching fascinator, and meticulously applied makeup.
CORE OF HIS IDENTITY.
Luke Poole, 34, of Christchurch, has come forward to confirm that Lynx Africa, the iconic body spray of teenage bedrooms still packs enough punch to “get the job done.”
LIKE CLOCKWORK.
Impeccably timed as always, an English person has made a big deal about the haka right before an England vs All Blacks test match.
MANIFEST 30 MILLI.
TVNZ has announced their bold new strategy to get them out of financial ruin,appointing degenerate gambler Tim Naki as the new Head of Investments.
SLEIGH FULL OF YEN.
All Blacks coach Scott “Razor” Robertson was spotted perched on Santa’s knee at Christchurch’s Northlands Mall today, clutching a handwritten wishlist. Top of the list: “Enough Japanese yen to buy Richie Mo’unga back.”
RUPEE IN FREEFALL.
The Indian economy is rumoured to be in absolute freefall, mirroring the nation’s dismal performance in the second test match against the Black Caps, who took a 2-0 series lead and victory in India.
MAKING A POINT.
Alex Devlin, 27 from Wellington, took to social media today to proudly share his Spotify Wrapped results, which showcased a meticulously curated lineup of artists no one else seems to know.
HEARTBREAK KID.
The progressive-minded women of Wellington were blindsided this morning with the news that ACT party leader David Seymour has had a secret girlfriend for the last two years.
ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY GUTTED.
Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau is reportedly heartbroken after the hikoi that swept through the capital this week wrapped up in a single day.
BRINGING HOME THE BACON.
With Darleen Tana’s husband’s bike shop going out of business, the former Green MP is glad she has something safe and reliable to fall back on.
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