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warriors celebrating with clock in foreground.

Daylight Savings Criticised For Not Making The Warriors Kickoff An Hour Earlier


Daylight Savings has come under fire recently for not doing more for Warriors fans this weekend. 

As Daylight Savings prepares to somehow make time go forward overnight, many have questioned why its powers could not be used to make the Warriors game in Brisbane (9.50 pm NZT) an hour earlier for TV viewers in New Zealand. 

New Plymouth based share milker Gaz McKinnon, 22, is filthy about it. 

“Where’s the accountability? Where’s the consideration for the common man? Just another kick in the teeth for the average Wahs fan isn’t it?

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More sport

office chat between two men and a woman in a warriors jersey

Quiet Team Admin Mysteriously Experiencing More Attention Than Usual This Casual Friday


Katie Quinn is the kind of girl who usually blends into the background at her Wellington office.
However today she emerged as the star of the show, proudly adorned in Warriors garb.
“I’m usually pretty quiet in the office but I’ve always loved the Warriors,” Katie said with a grin. “Big game tomorrow so I thought today’s the day to let everyone know it,” giggled the 25-year old, sitting down in her current season Warriors jersey.
The Warriors are set to play the Brisbane Broncos in tomorrow night’s NRL semi-final clash in Brisbane and Katie’s dedication to showing support for the team has turned a few heads in the office.

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man on therapy couch with christian cullen for the all blacks in the background.

Man Begins Therapy To Address Childhood Trauma Of Christian Cullen Being Dropped


30-year-old Jacob Hall is getting psychiatric help after twenty years of not being able to process John Mitchell dropping Christian Cullen from the All Blacks in 2003.

This was despite Cullen being in excellent form in Super 12 and being the All Blacks’ record try scorer at the time. Despite the cries for his inclusion in the side, the ABs then went on to get knocked out of the Rugby World Cup by the Wallabies later that year.

With the World Cup rolling around again in 2023, Jacob’s suppressed memories have come back to haunt him once again.

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relieved man smiling and thinking of ardie savea wearing goggles and his phone confirming with a google search.

Local Bloke Confirms He Didn’t Just Imagine Ardie Wearing Those Goggles That Time


A Napier man was relieved to find out this morning that he didn’t just imagine Ardie Savea wearing those goggles that one time during the 2019 Rugby World Cup. 

Jordan McDonald, 30, has finally put to rest a nagging doubt that has plagued him for almost four years.

McDonald woke up today and was suddenly struck once again by an inner vision of Ardie Savea, lining up for the All Blacks wearing a pair of what looked like black, oversized scuba goggles.

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Less recent sport news

turbos fan in central auckland

Unusually High Volume of Manawatu Turbos Jerseys Spotted In Central Auckland


In the heart of Auckland today, locals have been left baffled and somewhat terrified by a large contingent of Manawatu Turbos fans, all sporting the team’s green jerseys.

The wave of green comes after the Turbos beat Auckland 33-31 in last night’s NPC match at Eden Park, a venue where the Palmerstonians hadn’t won since 1980.

One Auckland resident, who preferred to remain anonymous, expressed his confusion at the Turbos supporters still hanging around the CBD.

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Quite old sport news

Palmy mum not impressed with spanish women's team.

Palmy Mum Reminds Spanish Women’s Team That Only Boring People Get Bored


Two weeks after leaving Palmerston North, citing boredom, the Spanish women’s football team has received some sage advice from local resident, Kelly Warburn.

“Only boring people get bored,” declared Warburn, a 50-year-old mother of three, as she sipped her cup of tea in her cozy Palmy living room. 

“I’ve been telling my kids this for years, and it applies to anyone. If you’re truly interesting and full of life, you can find excitement in even the most uneventful places.”

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sam cane giving thumbs up in all blacks jersey

REVEALED: Pitch Invader Kicked By Sam Cane Due To Not Being Nude

An All Blacks insider has revealed new detail about what inspired captain Sam Cane to put the boot into a hapless pitch invader over the weekend.

Cane was allegedly unfazed by the fact that the game was being delayed, and was instead just annoyed that the intruder didn’t even have the courage to get nude first.

“I think a lot of the boys just miss the old days when pitch invasions were funny, for obvious reasons,” said the anonymous source.

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happy dad with all blacks in background

Easy All Blacks Win Good For Dad’s Cardiovascular Health

Mick Sherlock, 58, enjoyed a calm, relaxed Sunday morning today, even though he watched a full 80 minutes of All Blacks rugby. This was out of the ordinary, as nowadays test match rugby is something that generally causes his blood pressure to approach dangerous levels.

The All Blacks opened their Rugby Championship campaign with a solid win over Argentina in Mendoza. With a very reasonable New Zealand kickoff time of 7.10 am, Sherlock’s heart rate remained steady throughout their 41-12 win, in a game where the Pumas were barely allowed into the game at all.

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