Politics top story

Adrian Orr, reserve bank governor

Reserve Bank Governor Insists He Was Just Kidding When He Said Inflation Was Under Control

LOL JK.

Reserve Bank Governor Adrian Orr says New Zealanders have no sense of humour after coming under fire as the cost of living continues to rise.

In an announcement on Thursday, Orr proudly confirmed New Zealand’s economy was up 0.9%, ending fears of a recession.

In May, Orr suggested inflation was under control, and he didn’t expect to see the Official Cash Rate rise further than where it was, at 5.5%.

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More politics

Leigh Hart as Chris Luxon at leaders debate, with speedo cops in foreground.

TOUGH ON CRIME: National Leader Announces Funding For 2000 New Speedo Cops

CALL IT IN.

National Party Leader Christopher Luxon made a splash at the TVNZ Leaders Debate last night, announcing 2000 new “speedo cops” to crack down on New Zealand’s crime problem. 

While most kiwis are concerned about violent crime and retail theft of small businesses, it is easy to forget about those gateway offences, like graffiti and road cone disruption. “That’s where the speedo cop division can make a real difference”, said Luxon.

The debate, which was enthralling television that will definitely save TVNZ from eventual collapse, skipped over the key funding announcement.

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shaun johnson on polls for preferred pm

Polling Shows Surge In Support For Shaun Johnson As Preferred Prime Minister

MAN OF THE PEOPLE.

A recent political poll has revealed a huge surge in support for Warriors playmaker Shaun Johnson, who is now among some of the top people as preferred Prime Minister of New Zealand.

The 33 year-old who is in the middle of one of the Warriors best ever NRL campaigns has popped up in the rankings, leaving both Christopher Luxon and Chris Hipkins scratching their heads.

Johnson, while a good sidestepper, likely wouldn’t be the type of person who would sidestep questions about the economy. In fact the likely Dally M medal winner for the best player in the NRL, is likely just doing what many politicians don’t, and that’s resonate with everyday New Zealanders.

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chris luxon and nicola willis delivering tax announcement

National Plans To Reduce The Amount Of Money That Will Be Forcibly Taken From You

OH THANK YOU MY LORD.

In a stunning display of political innovation, Chris Luxon and Nicola Willis have just unveiled National’s groundbreaking plan to reduce the amount of money that will be forcibly taken from you and everyone else in the country.

In a very honest press conference that left economists scratching their heads, Luxon proudly declared, “National is making a firm promise to commit less theft than the current government is engaging in. 

“A noticeably smaller amount of money will be taken from hardworking kiwis under the threat of jail”.

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Less recent political news

man thinking about being sacked by david seymour

MBIE Employee Gets Sick Thrill Out Of The Prospect Of Being Sacked By David Seymour

IMAGINE THAT.

A 33-year-old man working at the Ministry of Business, Innovation and Employment (MBIE) has interestingly expressed excitement over the prospect of being made redundant by David Seymour’s promise to cut government jobs if elected to government.

The employee, who prefers to remain anonymous, claims to be sick and tired of his public sector job at MBIE, feeling disillusioned by the severe lack of value he adds each day.

Upon learning about ACT’s proposal to halve the more than 6000 staff at MBIE and shut down work on several government projects, the man found a glimmer of hope.

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Lighthouse with W for Whakataki Times

The Whakataki Times – potentially somewhat biased politically.

Old news in politics

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