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Day: 25 December 2024

Chloe Swarbrick Weeps As Eco-Stocking Composts Before Her Very Eyes

Chloe Swarbrick with christmas stockings

“NO CHRISTMAS CHEER HERE”

Green Party Co-Leader Chloe Swarbrick was reportedly in tears this morning after learning that her plans for a very green Christmas had turned to compost.

REPORT: No Christmas Toy Will Ever Match the Glory of the Vortex Mega Howler

man on deck with beer thinking about vortex mega howler

“FEEL THE POWER”

Jacob Cooper, a 34-year-old Christchurch man, is adamant that no Christmas gift—past, present, or future—will ever surpass the iconic glory of the Vortex Mega Howler.

Christmas Day Gym Goer Reminds Us We’ll Never Be As Disciplined As Him

man at gym thinking about pavlova

THE GRIND NEVER STOPS.

Chad Blackwell had a point to prove on Christmas Day.

It was yet another day to remind the world that the grind never stops for the 27 year-old from Auckland.

DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.