ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture
NOT LIKELY
Jeremy Goddard definitely lost a few brain cells over the weekend.
The 27-year-old spent all Saturday and part of Sunday consuming alcoholic beverages at a frightening pace in the Christchurch sunshine.
But in order to level himself out and make amends for two days of heavy drinking, Goddard talked himself into the idea that a single Berocca in 330mL of water would make up for the best part of 24 beers.
Our reporters were with a very hungover Goddard as he took his first sip.
“Ahhh. Back on track now,” the accountant foolishly claimed, believing that the grog horrors that haunted his soul would suddenly vanish.
It is hard to comprehend that despite being a smart guy, Jeremy is convinced that his small glass of fizzy coloured water will aleve his body and liver from days of excessive piss-drinking.
“Oh berocca gives you a real pick up. You know, it’s the vitamins and minerals that do the trick. Just what I need, should set me up nicely for the day,” Goddard said, continually denying the cold hard fact that a large weekend of chasing instant gratification can not be cancelled out by one berocca.
As our reporters went to question him more, he was all of a sudden slumped at his desk and likely questioning the decisions he made over the past 48 hours.
More to come.
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