ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Politics
“NOW, YOU’RE SURE?”
Chloe Swarbrick is leaving no stone unturned in her recruitment process, specifically the background checks of Benjamin Doyle, who is likely to be joining her in parliament as an MP shortly.
The decision to sharpen up comes after a hellish year for the Greens co-leader. Former MP Golriz Ghahraman resigned after being caught and ultimately convicted of shoplifting and now Darleen Tana is set to be kicked out of Parliament amid allegations of migrant exploitation.
“We’ve had some… unique challenges this year,” Swarbrick explained to the Whakataki Times, her eyebrow raised slightly as if expecting a brand new debacle to leap out at her.
“But I’m pleased to announce that Ben’s record is squeaky clean and we’ve got a crisp new keffiyeh ready to go.”
Swarbrick, who was initially brimming with confidence coming into the leadership position, was now twice bitten and three times shy, taking no chances with new recruits.
“After Golriz’s troubles and Darleen’s situation with her husband’s bike business, we’ve had to, well, implement a few extra steps in our vetting process. I call it ‘Triple-Checking,’ because once was clearly not enough.”
Swarbrick said she asked Doyle more than once whether he’d done any kind of crime in the past, and to think really hard about it.
“No shoplifting, no under-the-table business practices, no helping himself to school kids’ free lunches, nothing! We need to restore trust.”
“I’m just being thorough. We can’t afford any more hiccups,” – by which she meant colossal public relations disasters.
More to come.
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