Kiwi Bloke Couldn’t Give A Fuck About The US Election

nz man standing in front of us election map

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National

NO SKIN IN THE GAME

Jakob Hammond, a 29-year-old electrician from Christchurch, has expressed zero interest in the political events happening at the moment in the United States.

“I barely made it to the polling booth for our own election. Why would I be remotely concerned about a country I have never been to, don’t care about, and never will?” Hammond asked logically from his home on a small island nation with a population of just over five million.

“I honestly could not give a fuck.”

Donald Trump and Kamala Harris are the hopefuls to become the 47th US President, something that an electrician from the South Island could not care less about.

“I heard a bit about it on the radio while I was fitting some lights,” he explains, shrugging. “But seriously, mate, I’ve got enough on my plate as it is. Why are people chucking hissy fits about who should or should not be President? The only time I pay attention to the US is when the NBA finals are on,” Hammond concluded, speaking on behalf of many New Zealand males.

Women from around the country echoed the sentiment, telling our reporters they also couldn’t give a fuck about an election happening in a far off land they’ve never been to, nor want to.

More to come.

 
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