ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport
SLEIGH FULL OF YEN
All Blacks coach Scott “Razor” Robertson was spotted perched on Santa’s knee at Christchurch’s Northlands Mall today, clutching a handwritten wishlist. Top of the list: “Enough Japanese yen to buy Richie Mo’unga back.”
Mo’unga, who signed a lucrative three-year deal with Toshiba Brave Lupus in 2022, is reportedly pocketing over $2 million a season, putting him out of reach for the All Blacks under New Zealand Rugby’s staunch “no overseas players” policy. But that hasn’t stopped the optimistic Robertson from dreaming of a Mo’unga-shaped Christmas miracle.
“Santa’s my last hope” said Robertson, who had tried dropping hints to NZ Rugby ever since he was named All Blacks coach, that picking overseas based NZ players is something they should keep an open mind to.
“I told him, ‘Look, mate, I need about $6-8 million in yen—just enough to buy Richie out of that contract. Maybe throw in some match tickets for the elves, and we’ll call it square.’”
Santa, who was visibly sweating under the weight of the notoriously athletic coach, tried to manage expectations. “I usually stick to Barbies and Nerf guns, not negotiating multimillion-dollar rugby contracts,” Santa remarked cautiously. “But Razor’s passion is hard to ignore.”
New Zealand Rugby, however, remains less optimistic about Razor’s plan.
“We appreciate Razor’s creativity, but unless Santa also drops off a policy rewrite and a spare $6-$8m for Richie, we’re not sure how this will work.”
More to come.
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