GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
HEARTBREAK KID
The progressive-minded women of Wellington were blindsided this morning with the news that ACT party leader David Seymour has had a secret girlfriend for the last two years.
Media reported this morning that Seymour has been seeing 36 year old Alexandra Vincent Martelli, who is naturally a very successful Auckland property mogul, and the two of them are going strong by the sounds of things.
Aro Valley native Ruby Galbraith barely managed to drag herself into work today due to the heartbreaking news.
“Oh that’s suuuuch a shame, I’m sooo jealous,” she said loudly in the open plan office she works in.
“Me and all my friends are wearing black today because we’re in a state of mourning.”
Julia Boucher, a graphic designer based in Newtown, reports that she cancelled all her appointments this morning in response to the news. “I just don’t think I would be able to hold it together if I had to face my clients today, such a sad day,” she said, sipping some kind of latte made with not cow’s milk.
“Such a shame because I think that the way David and I view the world are very much aligned, so we would have had a really great relationship if we had the chance.”
Female writers at the popular Wellington-centric news outlet, The Spinoff have been so upset at the news that they haven’t been able to bring themselves to write a single thing about it.
Requests for comment have gone unanswered, presumably because most of the staff are on some form of bereavement leave after hearing Seymour’s news.
More to come.
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