GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National
SLOW MOTION PRISON
With all the coverage of the ferries recently, much of it too complicated or boring to care about, it is easy to forget just how shit the Interislander experience is.
Whether it’s the feeling of being bored and trapped in a floating prison, or the intense concentration needed to hold back violent bouts of vomiting, the Interislander remains New Zealand’s worst way to travel.
But now that Winston Peters is onboard, fresh off the back of banning greyhounds, we can only wait and see whether the old boy addresses the issue of the boat being so painfully slow and boring. Peters talked to the media today as he swaggered out of parliament.
“Look, whichever way you want to cut it, we still need the ferry. End of discussion. And if any of you dipsticks in the media did your jobs properly, then you’d already know that,” he said before flashing a toothy grin to a group of dumbfounded journalists.
Cutting the press conference short, Peters also failed to address the disgusting smell of diesel and other people’s sea sickness, which has punctuated many a family holiday memory.
Wellingtonian traveller Sean Myers, was on his way to the South Island when he was asked for comment.
“No, I’m actually going to the airport, where I’ll board a short one hour flight to Christchurch, and hire a rental car to explore the South Island from there. Why would I spend five hours on a boat and only make it to Picton?” he asked.
Myers went on to question not only the slowness of the ferry, but also the likelihood it could actually get him from A to B.
“At some point you just have to ask yourself: What’s more likely to happen in New Zealand these days? A plane falling out of the sky, or a large ship running aground?”
More to come.
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