ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture
IMPORTANT CARGO
Troy Dodds, 42, has successfully raised the bar on both beverage safety and dad priorities.
The self-proclaimed “responsible father” posted a photo of his car’s back seat, where his prized 24-pack of Speights beer was meticulously strapped in using both the middle seat lap belt and the side passenger seatbelt.
The sight of the secured beer – carefully positioned like delicate cargo – was more secure than his toddler’s car seat, which, it was later revealed, was still loosely installed from last week’s grocery run.
“I mean, the kid’s fine. He’s strapped in, sure. But if I hit a bump, I don’t want my beer to fly across the car, right? That’s the real crisis. A toddler’s resilient, but a box of Speights? That’s a disaster waiting to happen.”
Despite spending 20 minutes ensuring the box of beer was snug and secure, Troy admitted he hadn’t even noticed that his toddler, Max, had begun playing with a half-eaten sandwich while sitting improperly in his car seat. “I’ll get to it,” Dodds remarked, adjusting the position of the beer box for a better angle. “Max isn’t going anywhere, but that Speights? That’s premium stuff.”
Dodds’ wife, Tara, who was initially unaware of the extent of the beer’s restraint, was later quoted as saying, “I mean, I get it. But if I spent as much time making sure Max’s car seat was that secure, maybe I wouldn’t have to remind him to ‘please not play with the seatbelt again.’”
More to come.
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