ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Crime
TOUGH LOVE
Prime Minister Chris Luxon has unveiled a new justice reform plan that could see convicted offenders sentenced to help train with the New Zealand Warriors. Specifically, they’ll be required to “run it straight” at the team during grueling training sessions.
“New Zealanders are tired of crime, and they’re tired of the Warriors finishing near the bottom of the table,” said Luxon at a press conference outside Mt Smart Stadium. “This policy tackles both issues head-on. Literally.”
The scheme would see criminals, ranging from minor offenders to more hardened criminals, face the ultimate punishment: sprinting directly into Warriors enforcers such as James Fisher-Harris and Bunty Afoa.
“We believe this will serve as a powerful deterrent,” Luxon added. “Who wants to commit a ram raid knowing they could end up as a tackling dummy for Bunty Afoa?”
As the policy awaits approval in Parliament, Luxon remains confident it will change the game—both for crime and the Warriors. “This is about hard work, accountability, and team spirit,” he said. “And if a few criminals happen to end up on a highlight reel getting steamrolled by Bunty, well, that’s just a bonus.”
More to come.
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