ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture
CRUSADE ON
29-year-old Tim Riley has made it clear that he’s “pretty open” to meeting new folks in Christchurch.
However they must meet one very important criteria. They need to hail from Christchurch, ideally from his very own suburb of Fendalton, and preferably have attended Christchurch Boys’ High.
“Look, I’m not saying I don’t like people from outside Christchurch, it’s just that I get Christchurch people. I mean, how am I supposed to trust someone who doesn’t know what it’s like to be stuck in traffic on Papanui Road.
Tim was quick to explain that if someone’s not from Fendalton, his suburb, it’s an even bigger hurdle.
“It’s like, if you don’t know where the best place for a post-work pint is in Merivale, or if you’ve never had an awkward run-in with a mate’s ex at Ballantynes, how are we supposed to relate?”
“If someone’s not from Christchurch, that’s, like, 50% of what I’m looking for in a friendship already gone,” he said, nodding as though this were an unassailable fact.
When asked if his criteria would ever extend to someone from, say, Auckland or Wellington, Tim wasn’t having it.
“Aucklanders? They try, but they’ll never get the pride we have for the Crusaders. And Wellington? Don’t even get me started,” Tim said, rolling his eyes.
More to come.
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