GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
UNFORGIVABLE
A local man has been left with nothing but regret and a dry mouth this Good Friday, after forgetting to buy beers the day before everything closed.
Palmerston North electrician Hayden Ropata, 33, told the Whakataki Times he had “no idea” it was already Easter until he rolled out of bed this morning.
“I opened the fridge and just stood there. Like an idiot. Nothing but milk and half a lemon,” said Ropata, staring blankly at a closed Countdown from across the road.
“I knew Easter was coming up at some point. I just didn’t realise it was now.”
With supermarkets, bottle stores and his usual backup dairies all closed to mark the death of Christ, Ropata says he’s now reflecting on his own judgment day—yesterday afternoon, when he chose to watch an old Warriors game instead of heading to the shops.
“Judas had thirty pieces of silver. I had a reminder in my phone. And I still blew it,” he confessed.
Ropata said he had ignored multiple warnings throughout the week, including a sign at the bottle-o that read “Stock up before Good Friday!” and his mate Craig, who literally asked him, “You sorted for the weekend?”
“I just laughed and said ‘Always’. But I wasn’t,” said the man, who admits he was too focused on the four-day break to think about the actual logistics of enjoying it.
The dry-mouthed, self-described ‘loser’ says he’s now resigned to a day of water, self-loathing, and possibly mowing the lawn.
“I don’t want to compare myself to Christ, but I’ve made a huge sacrifice. All for nothing though!”
He now waits for the salvation of Easter Saturday, when the shops reopen and he can repent for his sins.
More to come.
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