ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport
SUBTLE TROLLING
30-year-old Ruby Galbraith this morning sauntered into her central Christchurch office and casually asked her colleagues, Nic and Gaz, “So, you guys looking forward to the big… sportsball game tonight?”
The incident occurred near the office’s communal espresso machine, moments after Ruby returned from her 11am kombucha break.
Nic Rawiri (33) and Gareth “Gaz” Patterson (35) were stunned into silence for a moment before realising Ruby was referring to tonight’s Super Rugby Pacific semi-final between the Crusaders and the Blues, a fixture they had been discussing in detail only moments prior — complete with forwards analysis, injury updates, and a spirited debate on whether Scott Barrett had peaked in 2022.
“She bloody well knows it’s a semi-final and the magnitude of it. It’s the Crusaders versus the Blues. In Christchurch. Tonight. Knockout footy. It couldn’t be more important,” said Gaz, his voice rising in volume.
Despite her passive-aggressive disinterest, Ruby claimed she did understand the gravity of the match.
“Oh yeah, I totally get that it’s a big deal. What is it—like the semi-regional finals? The Pacific Super Cup? Honestly, I hope everyone has fun running around and doing their little scrums.”
When pressed if Ruby was going to watch tonight’s game, Ruby smiled contently.
“Oh no, I’ve got a gig tonight,” she said, visibly delighted by the reaction. “It’s a genderfluid jungle-folk trio from Sweden”.
More to come.
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