ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture
STICKY SITUATION
Christ’s College student, Jaxon Richworth, 16, has today demanded answers from fellow students, staff and others in New Zealand after discovering that his innocent fondness for golden syrup has somehow become a national punchline.
The controversy erupted after TVNZ commentator Scotty Stevenson referred to Christ’s College, students as “syrup suckers” during the Black Caps vs West Indies broadcast. It would appear the phrase instantly confused the country and sent Google’s search algorithm into cardiac arrest, along with many Kiwis asking “what does syrup suckers mean?”
“I just want to know what’s wrong with golden syrup,” said Richworth, standing outside the school chapel clutching a half-eaten crumpet. “It’s literally sugar but in liquid form. That’s not weird. That’s delicious. Yummy!!”
Richworth says he was initially excited to see his school mentioned during an international sports broadcast, where some of his classmates were practising cricket near Hagley Oval.
“But then my phone started blowing up,” he said. “My mates were going on about the term ‘syrup suckers’ and I was like “do you mean golden syrup? It’s been a genuinely confusing couple of days.’
Students across Christ’s College were reportedly left baffled as the term spread across social media like wildfire, meaning their school has now been put into the media spotlight.
Christ’s College headmaster Joe Eccleton has pursued a formal complaint against TVNZ, effectively Streisanding himself and the school by naturally drawing more attention to the subject that he didn’t want attention on.
Meanwhile Jaxon was still baffled by the term and controversy around it.
“It goes on crumpets, pancakes, maybe porridge if it’s a cold morning. I’m not freebasing the stuff. It’s not a lifestyle. It’s just breakfast! Come on TVNZ, what’s wrong with liking golden syrup at Christ’s College?”
More to come.
