GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
MAKES SENSE
Upper Hutt man Shane Devon was looking forward to catching up with a mate in Wellington for an afternoon beer on Saturday. Nothing serious, just a couple of classically overpriced Wellington beers.
Devon’s world outlook, which was at the time bright and colourful, soon came crashing down as he approached Trentham train station to make his way into town. The 32 year old had foolishly believed that the trains would be running on a Saturday, and that they would not be “replaced by buses”.
The buses Metlink were referencing of course were the very oldest buses in New Zealand, famously stinking of diesel and usually driven by a driver who was “on the brink” emotionally.
“Silly me. Thought I would have a comfortably smooth ride into Wellington on a train. Slow, but in a smooth straight line,” he smiled to himself insincerely.
“But no. Naturally I’m sitting here on the bus where I can vaguely smell a mix of diesel and stale vomit. Driver loves to fang it as far as he can before he slams on the brakes when he needs to. Why would you try and make a smooth ride for your passengers? Wouldn’t make sense would it?” he laughed.
Devon later came to realise that while the buses into Wellington were bad, the ones back out of it would turn out to be worse.
“No seats left when I got to the bus to get back home, so I was standing. Same bus driver there of course, taking the corners nice and fast while I try and stay on my feet, hanging on for dear life. Lovely.”
Devon reportedly made it home in the end, but would likely not be going back into the capital anytime soon if he could avoid it.
More to come.
