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“The Streets Don’t Forget Nehe Milner-Skudder,” Says Bloke Watching His Sidestepping Highlights

man thinking fondly of nehe milner skudder sidestepping.

SKUDDER STEP

“Middle Of The North Island” Easier Than Explaining Where The Hell Te Kūiti Is

man giving thumbs up in front of map

TINY TOWN TROUBLES.

Chiefs Fan Cheers Up By Reminding Himself He’s Not In Iran

chiefs fan thinking about iran while crusaders celebrate

CRUSADE ON.

Local Man Colonises Matariki Into Yet Another Long Weekend Of Piss Drinking

man drinking beer with starry sky behind him

GROSSLY PROBLEMATIC.

Bloke Still Bringing Up High School Sporting Career At Every Party Like It’s Relevant

Man thinking about high school rugby while talking to people at party.

FADED FAME.

TAB Scraps Crusaders Win Option For Home Playoff Final, Cites “Pre-Determined Result”

TAB guy scrapping odds for crusaders win

FOREGONE CONCLUSION.

Kiwi Bloke Reckons He “Bleeds Maroon” Despite Never Setting Foot in Queensland

man getting excited for origin

KIWISLANDER.

Uni Student Getting Straight A’s Despite Sub-Optimal Diet Of Mostly Two Minute Noodles

woman reading book thinking about two minute noodles

NOODLE KNOWLEDGE.

Crusaders Fans Gutted About Extra Game Before Trophy Lift

crusaders fans at game wearing black puffer jackets and beanies

CROWN THE KINGS NOW

Bloke Insists Paintball Was ‘Just a Bit of Fun’ Despite Being Covered In Painful Welts

man thinking about his paintball welts

BRUISED EGO.

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.