Local Man Wishes He Had Arms Like Lisa Carrington
GUN SHOW.
34-year-old Mike Flanders has always had an admiration for Olympic canoeist Lisa Carrington’s muscular arms.
Local Man Says The Olympics Haven’t been The Same Since They Ditched Tug Of War
GLORY DAYS.
Tim Dyson sat slumped on his lazy boy watching the Paris Olympics in frustration this afternoon.
Local Dad Foolishly Assumes The Olympics Would Be Family Friendly
HA, SORRY GUYS.
Mark Davidson, a Wairarapa father of two young boys, made an obvious error this morning as he was enjoying some family time in his modest living room.
OLYMPIC PREVIEW: Local Woman Announces That She’s “Looking Forward To The Gymnastics”
SHOCKER.
Wellington woman Julia Jennings, 33, shocked her immediate family members this morning when she announced her viewing intentions for this year’s Paris Olympic Games.
Football Ferns Spotted At Training Heading Drones Out Of The Air
AERIAL ASSAULT.
The New Zealand women’s football team have been spotted training for a very likely scenario in their opening Olympic Games match against Canada in a few hours.
Football Ferns Actually Just Stoked Another Team’s Spying On Them
MEDAL OF HONOUR.
The New Zealand women’s football team have found themselves in an unexpected spotlight at the Paris Olympics, after Canada were caught flying a drone over their training session.
REPORT: Sitting At The Back Of Parliament Doing Nothing Is More Lucrative Than Running A Bike Shop
BRINGING HOME THE BACON.
With Darleen Tana’s husband’s bike shop going out of business, the former Green MP is glad she has something safe and reliable to fall back on.
Biden Shocked To Find Out That He’s Pulled Out Of The Presidential Election
WHA? COME ON, MAN!
President Joe Biden got a hell of a fright when he woke up from his nap this afternoon.
Ken The Cockroach Feeling Vindicated After Y2K Bug Finally Hits
TOLD YOU!
Ken the cockroach, the face of the Y2K bug campaign in New Zealand in the 90s, is feeling good today.
Kiwi Bloke Establishes His Nescafe Station Ahead Of Dangerously Late Origin Kick Off
SOMEBODY THINK OF THE KIWIS.
Queensland supporter Mark Hickey, 33, is sitting down with his second cup of coffee tonight, preparing for the State of Origin decider at Suncorp Stadium. The game is scheduled to kick off at 10:05 PM NZT, though seasoned viewers like Mark know that 10:15 PM if not much later is a more realistic start time.
