One Eyed Cantab Disappears From Society After Tenth Crusaders Loss
SOLACE IN THE SANDS.
Diehard Crusaders fan Craig Chamberlain is unable to face a world where the Crusaders are no longer the unstoppable force they once were.
Local Bloke Lets Slip A “Nek Minnit” Like It’s 2011
BLAST FROM THE PAST.
Jay Holland, 33, caused a stir in his office yesterday when he accidentally dropped a “Nek Minnit” during casual conversation.
Local Man Doing Weekly Shop At Pak n Save Naturally Forgets The Council Rubbish Bags
CHECKOUT AUTOPILOT.
New dad Nathan Davidson has been feeling good about taking on the weekly grocery shopping duties, now that wife Shannon has her hands full with two month old Isaac.
Local Man Doesn’t See The Aurora
WAS GOING TO.
Jay Briggs, 35, was keen to see the spectacular aurora phenomenon that graced the night sky last night.
Local Bloke’s NRL Multi Destined To Be Ruined By The Warriors
SAFE BET.
Jayden Brooking, 29, is still strangely optimistic about the Warriors this weekend.
Vibe Of Modern Inner City Apartment Inevitably Ruined By Clothes Horse
SO BOUJEE.
Anna Bourdain, a 29 year old lawyer who enjoys the finer things in life, has been caught out by reality once again.
Green Party Puts The Call Out For New Members Who Can Actually Control Themselves
NORMAL PEOPLE WANTED.
The NZ Greens are doing a succession planning exercise this week, where they are attempting to get reasonable people to become members of their party.
Greens Relieved Julie Anne Genter At Least Hasn’t Been Done For Shoplifting
LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
With the recent parliament outburst of Greens MP Julie Anne Genter, and subsequent accounts of her bullying a florist about car parks, it’s fair to say it’s been a shit of a week for Greens co-leaders Chloe and Marama.
Punters Around The Globe Flocking To Get Hands On Lucky Black Flaps Sunhat
MANIFEST A MILLI.
With Tim Naki reaching his goal of making a million dollars in online blackjack on Day 83 of his “Manifest a Milli” campaign, gambling enthusiasts around the globe all have their eyes on obtaining one particular item of clothing.
Local Teenager Enjoying Phone Ban After Playing Handball For The First Time
SKILL OVER SNAPCHATS
15 year old Jake Billingsley has been forced out of his comfort zone this week, and has taken up the challenge of the once universally-played sport of handball.
