REPORT: No Christmas Toy Will Ever Match the Glory of the Vortex Mega Howler
“FEEL THE POWER”
Jacob Cooper, a 34-year-old Christchurch man, is adamant that no Christmas gift—past, present, or future—will ever surpass the iconic glory of the Vortex Mega Howler.
Christmas Day Gym Goer Reminds Us We’ll Never Be As Disciplined As Him
THE GRIND NEVER STOPS.
Chad Blackwell had a point to prove on Christmas Day.
It was yet another day to remind the world that the grind never stops for the 27 year-old from Auckland.
Grown Man Gets Cold Shoulder From Mum After Failing to Adequately Wrap Gifts
“IT’S ALL GOT TO BE RE-DONE”
It’ll be a silent night indeed for Joseph Christensen, who is facing the cold shoulder from his mum for failing to meet her exacting standards of gift wrapping.
Local Woman’s Out Of Office Auto Reply Beginning To Read More Like A Travel Itinerary
“HI THERE”
When 26-year-old Loren Ashley set up her out-of-office auto-reply last Friday, she didn’t just inform her colleagues she’d be away — she unwittingly provided them with a detailed travel log of her Christmas plans.
Local Mum Really Leaning On The “Santa Won’t Come” Threat To Round Off The Year
DESPERATE TIMES.
40 year old Katie Herbert, mother to boys Jack, 6, and Elliot, 8, is already at the end of her tether this holiday season.
Envious Phoenix Fan Gets Sick Pleasure From Auckland’s First Loss
BACK DOWN TO EARTH.
In what can only be described as a humbling afternoon at Go Media Stadium, Auckland FC’s unbeaten run of seven games came to an abrupt and spectacular end.
Local Lesbian Braces For Annual “When Are You Having Kids” Interrogation at Family Christmas
TOUCHY SUBJECT.
There is only one thing on Kassie Clarke’s mind this holiday season.
That’s how to avoid what is unavoidable: the looming annual interrogation from Grandma Mavis and Aunt Janet.
“Hardest Decision Of My Life” – Red Bull Driver On Having To Give Up Quidditch
PODIUM SEEKER.
Liam Lawson, who is set to replace Sergio Pérez at Red Bull Racing for the 2025 Formula 1 season, has revealed the most difficult decision of his early career: leaving his prestigious position as seeker for the Slytherin quidditch team to pursue a full-time seat in Formula 1.
Bloke Loosely Points To “The Silly Season” To Justify Fourth Night At The Pub This Week
WHEELS COMING OFF.
Christchurch man Jordan Evans, 31, has fully embraced the chaos of December by clocking up an impressive streak of pub visits.
Despite Media Spotlight Interislander Ferry Still A Horrible Way To Travel
SLOW MOTION PRISON.
With all the coverage of the ferries recently, much of it too complicated or boring to care about, it is easy to forget just how shit the Interislander experience is.
