Local Man On Third Blue V Of The Day Wondering Why He Feels So Average
IT ALL STARTS WITH V
Local software developer Callum Marsden was battling today, after staying up well past his bedtime playing video games last night.
Public Servant Performs His Unnecessary Job In The Office Instead Of At Home
Lochie Jansen, a 30 year old “business analyst” at ACC, has opted for a change of pace today.
With the Prime Minister’s announcement that Wellington’s public servants will all be “going back to the office”, Jansen is proactively getting used to doing his questionable job in town instead of at home.
STRUGGLING ON $189K: Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau Regretting Her Attempt To Appear Relatable
IT’S ROUGH OUT THERE.
Tory Whanau gave her comms team an absolute bollocking today.
It appears that the key messages they supplied her ahead of a Newstalk ZB interview failed to tell her not to say she’s doing it tough on $189,000 a year.
CONFIRMED: Working From Home More Pleasant Than Travelling Into Wellington
NO WAY!
A new report released by the Wellington Public Servants Association Of Wellington (WPSAW), has confirmed what many have feared.
Desperately Under-Prepared New Dad Discovers “How To Dad” Is More Of A Comedy Thing
NO INSTRUCTION MANUAL.
Morgan Dellman, a chronically laid back 30 year old from Dunedin, has just realised he’s made a drastic miscalculation in his entry into fatherhood.
Local Bloke Not On Facebook Happily Misses Event He Didn’t Know About
BLISSFUL IGNORANCE.
Cameron Brown, a 31 year old “knowledge worker” based in Petone, deleted his Facebook account in 2021 and has been reaping the benefits ever since.
Bloke Who Should Have Given Up Grade Cricket A Decade Ago Turns Up For Pre-Season Training
NEW SEASON, NEW ME.
36-year-old Dave Brunton has again surprisingly shown face at his team’s pre-season cricket training.
Beauden Barrett Turns To Instagram Poll To Determine What Position He Should Play
HOT TOPIC.
All Blacks superstar Beauden Barrett has decided to let his Instagram followers across the world decide what position he should play for the remainder of this year’s international season.
35 Year-Old Going To BYO Destined To Be Upset By The Price Of Corkage
MORE THAN THE BOTTLE ITSELF
Chris Gibbons clearly hasn’t been out in a while.
The 35 year-old from Christchurch, who was initially upbeat about going to a midweek birthday BYO, was in for a shock at how much corkage would be for the cheap bottle of wine he was bringing.
REMINDER: The United States President Until January Is Actually Still Joe Biden
COME ON, MAN!
In a shock announcement yesterday, the International Political Institute of Palmerston North (IPIPN), issued a reminder to the world that Joe Biden, the United States President who has not been seen for several weeks, is in fact still the President.
