Annoyingly Good Indoor Football Player Fills In For Social League Game And Ruins It
URGH..
Joey Martinez, a lover of football of the indoor variety, has a habit of hanging around after his scheduled evening games to see if any other teams need extra players.
TVNZ Attempt To Improve Ratings By Axing Long Running Show People Actually Watch
GENIUS STUFF.
In a bold move to tackle plummeting ratings and revenue, the brains trust at TVNZ has announced its decision to axe one of its longest-running and most beloved shows, Fair Go, along with the midday and late-night news bulletins.
Luxon Reveals Plan To Bring Back SportsCafe By 2030
THAT GUY.
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon today shocked the nation by unveiling his ambitious plan to bring back the iconic SportsCafe, which he starred in, by the year 2030.
Parents Send Kids To David Seymour For Saturday Morning Catch Up Classes
GOOD MORNING MR SEYMOUR.
Wellington parents have decided to take Associate Education Minister David Seymour’s advice to heart by sending their children to him for Saturday morning catch-up classes.
Local Lads Wagging School To Go To The Movies Marked As “Climate Strikers”
TOO EASY.
15 year old Zane Caldwell has found a gaping loophole that he’ll keep firmly in his back pocket from now on.
Woman Rescued From Her Zombie-Like State With Emergency Espresso Coffee
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture REJUVENATED The staff at The Good Home restaurant and bar could be forgiven for thinking it was the beginning of the zombie apocalypse this morning. 25 year old lawyer Libby Edgerton stumbled towards the barista at 8 o’clock, dragging one foot behind her and generally looking like one of the walking […]
Woman’s Unreturned Crush Moves From Beauden Barrett To Ruben Love
NEW KID IN TOWN.
25-year-old Sophie Ballagh has officially announced her switch in affections from All Blacks heartthrob Beauden Barrett to the rising star of the Hurricanes, Ruben Love.
Man’s Post-Easter Sugar Crash Worse Than Hangover
SLUGGISH.
Palmerston North father of two, Bevan Hicks woke up dazed and confused this Easter Monday, with what felt like the result of one two many craft beers the night before.
Bloke Trying To Explain Bitcoin To Mates Still Getting Nowhere
MAGIC INTERNET MONEY
It has been a frustrating couple of weeks for bitcoin enthusiast, Sean Martin.
The 30 year old is now thinking that explaining the significance of his favourite cryptocurrency to his friends may just have to go in the ‘too hard basket’.
Man Has Two Midweek Craft Beers And Goes Home At Reasonable Hour
MONDAY MODERATION.
A Christchurch man made history at The Good Home restaurant and bar today.
