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Man Working From Home During Last Week Of Work Definitely Not Just Watching Cricket

Kane Williamson lifting bat with wfh worker in foreground

ALL WORK NO PLAY.

Business analyst Jack Steele has a unique challenge this week – making it look like his focus is on the shared Word document he has open on his laptop instead of what is happening in the Blackcaps vs England test match in Hamilton.

Local Man Gets Strong Engagement After Expressing Opinion About Whether Die Hard Is A Christmas Movie Or Not

man on laptop with christmas die hard image in background

HOT TOPIC!

Wellington man Ben Mathison, 35, struck a chord this morning when he became passionately involved in the yearly debate over whether the action movie Die Hard is also a Christmas film or not.

GREYHOUND RACING BAN: Bloke Forced To Start Blowing His Chump Change On Random NBA Multis

man with beer thinking about lebron james and greyhounds.

LEAPING INTO ACTION.

The Government’s bombshell decision to ban greyhound racing in New Zealand has left many Kiwis grappling with the fallout, none more so than 29-year-old Corey O’Connor from Christchurch.

Woman’s Patience Wearing Thin After Boyfriend Puts Dirty Plate In Dishwasher With The Clean Dishes

annoyed woman holding dirty plate

“JAKE! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CALL THIS?”

Danielle Timmins’ blood was boiling this evening.

After a hectic day at the pre-school she worked at, the 29 year old came home early to make dinner for herself and her current boyfriend of two years, Jake Coombes.

A-League Bosses Calmly Explain To Referees That What Auckland FC Are Doing Is Unacceptable

Auckland FC doing selfie with team and fans, plus positive headlines

BAD FOR THE GAME.

The referees that officiate A-League football matches were hauled into an impromptu meeting this morning, after the newly-established New Zealand club, Auckland FC won their sixth match of the season – which is all of their matches.

Wellingtonian Shares His Spotify Wrapped Which Is Filled With Artists You’ve Never Heard Of

Aro valley man with his spotify wrapped

MAKING A POINT.

Alex Devlin, 27 from Wellington, took to social media today to proudly share his Spotify Wrapped results, which showcased a meticulously curated lineup of artists no one else seems to know.

TVNZ Certain That Cutting Popular Presenters Will Make People Want To Watch TV Again

Hayley Holt and Anna Burns Francis

ROAD TO RUIN.

The brains trust at TVNZ have once again made the opposite of a good decision.

Auckland FC Management Predicts First Loss Will Cause 75% Of Fans To Instantly Evaporate

auckland fc players and fans and a-league table

THE AUCKLAND WAY.

As Auckland FC continue their dream run in their first season of the A-League, Chairman Bill Foley is preparing for the absolute worst and most likely scenario.

Government Proposes Ban On People Posting Unwatchable Festival Footage To Instagram Stories

christopher luxon with music festival in background

WE GET IT, YOU’RE THERE.

The National government has announced its intention to extend the controversial ban on gang patches to tackle another societal menace: Instagram stories flooded with festival footage.

Drunk Woman In Town Becomes Best Friends With Toilet Stranger

women laughing in line for toilet at bar

BATHROOM BONDS. 

Millie Inglis, 27, found herself in an all too familiar last night: waiting in line at the women’s bathroom at Fat Eddie’s Bar in Christchurch, desperately trying to hold it together after a few too many at the bar.

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.