Super Rugby Bosses Relieved They Don’t Have To Worry About Dolphins Cancelling Round
SMOOTH SAILING.
Super Rugby bosses have been counting their blessings this week.
With the cancellation of racing at Lyttelton Harbour’s Sail GP event on Saturday, Mark Robinson, CEO of New Zealand Rugby and his executives at NZR, expressed gratitude that rugby is generally unaffected by marine mammals.
CONSPIRACY RABBIT HOLE: One Eyed Cantab Believes NZ Rugby Is Poisoning Crusaders Players
CONNECTING THE DOTS.
Craig Chamberlain, the notoriously one-eyed Cantabrian from the Christchurch suburb of Shirley, has basically lost the plot.
Soon To Be Sacked Public Servant Reflects Fondly On Year’s Worth Of Pointless Work
GOOD TIMES.
Joanne Collingwood, a 29 year old policy analyst at the Ministry of Primary Industries (MPI), is reflecting on a great year.
Winston Goes Hard On The Chumbawamba Song Until He Has To Switch To Eye Of The Tiger
THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT.
Winston Peters is once again not backing down.
Our mainstream news media are currently obsessing over the fact that he used former UK band Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping,” in one of his campaigns, without asking permission first.
Report Finds Winston Peters “Very Likely” To Keep Telling Us What He Really Thinks
TRANSPARENCY.
An independent investigation into the Deputy Prime Minister has found that the 78-year-old is probably not going to change his way of doing things any time soon.
Wellington Woman Sets LinkedIn On Fire With Post About Work Life Balance
GROUNDBREAKING.
43 year old recruitment manager Michelle Williamson’s LinkedIn account has been popping off this week, with likes and comments rolling in thick and fast.
Hurricanes Fan Displaying Early Signs Of “Our Year” Syndrome
LET’S GONE HURRICANES!
33 year old Hurricanes tragic Campbell Taylor has sensed he could be in serious trouble this year, as a considerable amount of hope has been able to seep into his heart.
Crusaders Fan Practices His “It’s A Season To Rebuild” Speech
IT’S A TRANSITION PERIOD.
Crusaders fan Robert Dangerfield has been carefully practicing his key messages this morning, in preparation for going out in public in Wellington today.
INSPIRATIONAL: Penny-Pinching Tradie Goes Three Full Days Without Trip To The Bakery
UNCHARTED TERRITORY.
A Taranaki-based roofer has caused a stir this week, after it was noticed that he had not been seen all week at the bakery near his Hawera building site.
Woman With Stressful Job Pleased She Didn’t Have To Plead Guilty To Shoplifting Today
GOOD DAY AT THE OFFICE.
37-year-old Taryn Hansen, a public servant in Wellington’s bustling CBD, found herself breathing a sigh of relief today.
