Former Colleagues Run Into Each Other In Town, Agree To Have Coffee Sometime, And Then Never Do
NEED A CATCH UP.
Career-focused Wellingtonians Mitch Connor and Logan Larsen were not expecting to run into each other today, despite Lambton Quay being commonly filled with lunch time foot traffic.
Old Friends Inevitably End Up Spending All Night Naming Old Warriors Players
ALI LAUITI’ITI!
A simple catch up between 33-year-old mates, Mark Hickey and Ryan Duff, turned into an all-night saga which was fueled by the nostalgia of Warriors players from yesteryear.
Clubroom Beer Prices Continue To Defeat Inflation In New Zealand
ECONOMIC OUTLOOK IS GOOD.
With all the economic doom and gloom in New Zealand and the world right now, there is one part of society that is bucking the trend – New Zealand sports clubs.
Tomorrow’s Third Division Rugby Game Last Thing On Player’s Mind Tonight
WILL SWEAT IT OUT TOMORROW.
Mike Jenkins, a 28 year-old third division rugby player from Christchurch, had no qualms knocking back his third beer of the afternoon.
Unlucky Public Servant Has Voluntary Redundancy Application Turned Down
UNLUGGY.
Warren Cartwright, an actively disengaged employee at the Ministry for the Environment, suffered a major setback today.
Christchurch Matches On Tinder Now Autofill Chat With “What School Did You Go To?”
REPUTATION ROMANCE.
Millie Golding, a 24-year-old former student of Rangiruru Girls High School, was thrilled to discover that Tinder had finally caught on to what really mattered in Christchurch – which school you went to.
Local Idiot Rewatches Beauden Barrett’s 2015 World Cup Try Against Australia Without The New Zealand Commentary
NOT THE SAME.
31 year old Palmerston North man, Harris Oldman, was struck today by a thought that he has at least once a year, which was to go to Youtube and look up Beauden Barrett’s try against Australia in the 2015 World Cup final.
Man With Family To Feed And Bills To Pay Goes To Work As Usual
NO WORRIES
Local New Zealander of various family backgrounds, Adam Smith, had a stock standard day today.
Massive Own Goal As Man Picks Up Burger And Chips On Way Home From Gym
ALL FOR NOTHING.
Local gym bro Kayden Walker, 23, had egg on his face today, and that’s not including the egg that slid out of the side of his burger.
Crusaders Coach Reveals New Plan To Call Thomas Mead A C*** Before Every Game
WINNING FORMULA.
Crusaders coach Rob Penney has announced his intention to verbally assault 1News journalist Thomas Mead before every Crusaders game, as part of the team’s preparation.
