Soon To Be Sacked Public Servant Reflects Fondly On Year’s Worth Of Pointless Work
GOOD TIMES.
Joanne Collingwood, a 29 year old policy analyst at the Ministry of Primary Industries (MPI), is reflecting on a great year.
Winston Goes Hard On The Chumbawamba Song Until He Has To Switch To Eye Of The Tiger
THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT.
Winston Peters is once again not backing down.
Our mainstream news media are currently obsessing over the fact that he used former UK band Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping,” in one of his campaigns, without asking permission first.
Report Finds Winston Peters “Very Likely” To Keep Telling Us What He Really Thinks
TRANSPARENCY.
An independent investigation into the Deputy Prime Minister has found that the 78-year-old is probably not going to change his way of doing things any time soon.
Wellington Woman Sets LinkedIn On Fire With Post About Work Life Balance
GROUNDBREAKING.
43 year old recruitment manager Michelle Williamson’s LinkedIn account has been popping off this week, with likes and comments rolling in thick and fast.
Hurricanes Fan Displaying Early Signs Of “Our Year” Syndrome
LET’S GONE HURRICANES!
33 year old Hurricanes tragic Campbell Taylor has sensed he could be in serious trouble this year, as a considerable amount of hope has been able to seep into his heart.
Crusaders Fan Practices His “It’s A Season To Rebuild” Speech
IT’S A TRANSITION PERIOD.
Crusaders fan Robert Dangerfield has been carefully practicing his key messages this morning, in preparation for going out in public in Wellington today.
INSPIRATIONAL: Penny-Pinching Tradie Goes Three Full Days Without Trip To The Bakery
UNCHARTED TERRITORY.
A Taranaki-based roofer has caused a stir this week, after it was noticed that he had not been seen all week at the bakery near his Hawera building site.
Woman With Stressful Job Pleased She Didn’t Have To Plead Guilty To Shoplifting Today
GOOD DAY AT THE OFFICE.
37-year-old Taryn Hansen, a public servant in Wellington’s bustling CBD, found herself breathing a sigh of relief today.
Kiwi Woman Who Heavily Filters Her Selfies Says Kate Middleton Is “So Fake”
WILL THE REAL KATE PLEASE STAND UP?
26-year-old Tara Smith from Hamilton has emerged as the leading critic of Princess Kate Middleton’s authenticity.
E BIKE TUMBLE: Seymour’s Critics Annoyed To Find Out He’s Not Driving A BMW
BROWNIE POINTS.
ACT leader David Seymour found himself at the centre of a scandal that has left his critics more annoyed than anything else.
