Parliamentary Service Lad Remains Tight-Lipped About Which MPs Are Dickheads In Real Life
NOT WHO YOU’D EXPECT.
25-year-old James* (who, for reasons of his own, only goes by “James”) works as an advisor in our nation’s parliament. James recently shared with friends that he’s spent the last two years accumulating top-secret intel on the MPs he works with.
Bloke Who Plays Golf Every Weekend Somehow Getting Worse
HITS MORE TREES THAN FAIRWAYS.
Angus Thorpe, 28, has once again had a day filled with a mix of anger, disbelief, and general confusion.
CAR POOL CONUNDRUM: Seymour Arrives To Pick Up Chippy For Work In The Land Rover
“UNSUITABLE BEHAVIOUR!”
Chris “Chippy” Hipkins’ blood pressure reached new heights this morning. That’s because his parliament carpool buddy David Seymour arrived at his house in the same old land rover he’d tried to drive up the parliament steps earlier this week.
HAPPY VALENTINE’S: One Eyed Cantab Finalises Divorce Papers To Focus On More Important Relationship
LOVE AND LOYALTY.
Craig Chamberlain, 59 from Shirley, Christchurch, is now free to fully focus on his beloved Crusaders after finalising his divorce from his now ex-wife Diane.
Couple’s Relationship Tested By Very Minor Home DIY Project
RELATIONSHIP REBUILD.
New homeowners Sarah Wiseman and Luke Rusbatch, both 29, have recently embarked on a brave journey into the world of DIY home renovations.
Ambitious Young New Zealander Shocks Nation By Not Moving To Australia
WHAT?!
Palmerston North local, Hayden Cutts has revealed that he holds the shocking belief that he can be financially successful in New Zealand instead of Australia.
‘Year 14’ High School Athletes Exposed As The Frauds That They Always Have Been
FOUL PLAY.
Some 18 and 19 year-old “high school student athletes” around New Zealand are feeling a bit caught out today.
Once-Wild Party Girl’s Instagram Now Just A Baby Photo Dump Album
TRAGIC LOSS FOR THE BOYS.
A few good men have been mourning over Hannah Watts’ Instagram account lately.
Some Christchurch locals’ are devastated at the transformation of Watts’ social media photos, which went from a vibrant festival highlight reel account into an endless stream of baby photos.
Mediocre Best-Man Speech Concludes With Half-Arsed Appeal For Audience To Raise Their Glasses
“LET’S RAISE OUR GLASSES”.
Auckland man Jacob Gregg, 31, has delivered what can only be described as a profoundly average best-man speech at the wedding of his longtime mate Lucas Griffiths today.
Bloke Who Scoffed At Colleagues Taking Friday Off, Now Sitting Viciously Hungover At Desk
HOLIDAY HANGOVER.
Logan Renney, 28, is paying the ultimate price this morning.
The Auckland property valuer was adamant earlier this week that anyone taking today off was “soft as hell” and just looking for an excuse to milk a four-day weekend.
