GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local
“PHHHHWARRRR”
Whakataki electrician Taine Gainford, 29, got the shock of his life this morning, waking up with a completely unexpected hangover.
After the local sparkie innocently drank 4-5 craft beers in a trendy bar on Wednesday night, he was taken completely by surprise by the relentless head-throbber that greeted him the next morning. His blinding impairment refused to subside despite several glasses of water and multiple panadols.
Gainford was allegedly catching up with a mate after work and claims that he never intended anything serious.
“I was just catching up with a mate! I don’t deserve this!” he complained loudly.
“Thought it was pretty reasonable to just have four, but the bloody craft beers sneak up and get me every time. Just always forget how strong they are”.
The Whakataki Times can report that when Gainford arrived at work that day he was harassed and heckled within an inch of his life by his workmates on-site. “Shit it was like the boss just wanted to punish me even more by piling up the shiiiiitest jobs he could find. Shouldn’t have come in!” Gainford lamented.
Local craft brewer James Aitchison provided an insight into Gainford’s horrendous experience. “The hops, which are used to balance the flavours and aroma of the beer, will also ensure that anyone consuming it midweek will be sentenced to a day of complete hell the next morning” he explained.
“And I mean, it probably didn’t help that he was into the 8 percenters, always gonna bloody getcha aren’t they”.
More to come.
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