GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport
SURELY..
Will Baker, an armchair critic of epic proportions, believes that despite not competing in any form of competitive sport since high school, he could qualify for the Los Angeles summer games in 2028.
The 27 year old says that with a bit of hard work and dedication, there’s surely an event that he could pick up well enough to qualify.
“There’s just so many niche things in the Olympics nowadays, surely there’s something I could pick up over the next couple of years,” he said before reaching for a handful of chips next to his lazy boy arm chair.
“I mean, obviously nothing like running or swimming. But what about archery? Or shooting? I could pick that up with a bit of practice,” he said without any consideration of the hours and hours of practice these athletes put themselves through to get to the Olympics.
“Just have to be able to aim straight at a target right? Be cool under pressure? I do that on Playstation every day.”
Baker then descended into a deeper delusion as he began fantasising about competing in field events.
“Javelin maybe? I played a bit of cricket back in the day and always had a strong arm. I reckon I just need to refine the run up and get the technique right,” he said as he brushed crumbs from his singlet that was leaving the bottom of his stomach exposed.
“2028 here I come!”
More to come.
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