“BUGGER OFF DRONGOS”: Journalist Hit By Old Man With Tennis Racket

wayne brown hitting journalist with tennis racket



A journalist is slightly worse for wear this afternoon after getting a backhand of sorts from Auckland Mayor Wayne Brown.

Brown, who enjoys his tennis, was his grumpy old self as journalists gathered at his local tennis club, seeking more comment from him about his response to Auckland’s flooding situation.

Our reporters, who were not there to seek comment from Brown, were on scene as local journalists  attempted to disrupt Brown’s tennis match.

“Mayor Brown, what do you have to say about your response to Auckland’s flooding?” said one journalist, speaking over others asking the same question.

“What do you guys want? I didn’t cause the sky to fall with torrential rain. What do you want me to say?” Brown groaned as he played a strong backhand shot back over the tennis net.

As another journalist from an unnamed media company attempted to again ask why Brown didn’t declare a State of Emergency earlier in New Zealand’s largest city on Friday, he was unexpectedly backhanded by Brown’s tennis racket.

“Bugger off drongos!” Brown exclaimed, following through with a strong backhand shot on the journalist.

Our reporters spoke to the journalist who pulled himself up off the ground. 

“Far out, geez. He thinks I’m a drongo? Man, I just wanted to ask him more about what he could have done to prevent the torrential flooding. What’s his problem?” said the journalist, who is still unsure whether to blame climate change or the Mayor for Auckland’s natural disaster.

As our reporters sought more comment from Brown he was busy replying to a text in his group chat about his availability for another game of tennis.

“Anyhow, I’ve got to deal with the media drongos over the flooding. So sadly no tennis for me tomorrow. Browny.”

More to come

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