Christchurch Dad Welcomes The Hot Weather By Thrashing Kids With New Super Soaker

grown man with large super soaker



As Christchurch temperatures entered the 30s this morning, local dad Damian “Damo” Burns was chomping at the bit to test his brand new Super Soaker on sons Aaron, 9, and Phoenix, 7.

Full-time IT salesperson and part-time responsible caregiver, Damo, was feeling optimistic when he purchased a brand new Nerf Super Soaker at the Warehouse last month. Bad weather had him longing for sweltering summer days and the purchase of a brand new water gun was, according to Damo, “my way of re-living the good times, ya know?”

Today, at an uncomfortable 32 degrees, Damo will finally realise his dreams. Having eagerly unpackaged the Nerf water pistol at 8.30am, he spent the morning practising his form, testing the gun’s pump action functionality, and doing stretches in front of the ensuite mirror. 

“I’m so pumped man,” Damo revealed, breathing heavily. “The kids are gonna get an absolute thrashing when this bad boy gets out on the field.”

For kids Aaron and Phoenix, a day spent playing with Super Soakers in the back yard is a much less exciting prospect. According to Aaron, “Dad gets a new water gun every year. It’s really unfair.” When asked to elaborate on this perceived injustice, Aaron explained that “me and Phoenix get Dad’s old water pistols and they’re always broken, so we have to run and hide or else he gets us straight away.”

Damo said his annual tradition of pelting his kids with water from a plastic gun is an important way for his boys “to learn how to lose like real men” as well as “toughen up” and “take it on the chin when life throws stuff at ya.” For Damo, however, it’s all about the fun: “man, it’s a laugh getting to see their faces when you come at them with a real stealth shot.”

Damo’s wife, Tilly, was unavailable for comment.

More to come.

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