GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
WOULD STILL BE FUNNY
Auckland based data analyst Stephen Walgrave has shown tremendous self control today, in a situation many men have found themselves in during their teenage years.
The advertising sales office where he worked was empty for the day, as many were away on various training courses. The 32 year old, alone in one of the meeting rooms, was faced with a totally clear whiteboard, a brand new black marker, and only one thing on his mind.
“It was like I had just been transported back 15 years to Palmy Boys High,” he said, still slightly flustered. “All those familiar urges came rushing back.”
Walgrave reports that he did not use the fresh new pen to draw a massive C and B on the whiteboard, even though he had every opportunity to. “Would’ve been the easiest thing in the world to do. I’m no artist, so it’d be a quick two second job. Really basic. A victimless crime.”
At this stage all we can do is take Walgrave at his word, as many will claim that he did in fact draw a C and B, but simply erased it before anyone else could see it.
“Like I said, I did not draw on that whiteboard. I definitely thought about it and I did have to dig really deep to not succumb to temptation”.
However one of Walgrave’s fifth form classmates from Boys High came forward and was sceptical about the claims. “Walgrave’s lying, clearly,” said Jason Trent, who was in Walgrave’s biology class.
“Drawing penises was his thing. Any chance he got he’d be drawing a great big penis. If not on a whiteboard while the teacher was out, then all over his books and other people’s.
“The guy can’t be stopped”.
More to come.
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