Disengaged Public Servant Still Hoping For A Redundancy This Christmas

Woman in business attire looking at phone with David Seymour as santa in background

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics 

DEAR SANTA

Chloe Reginald, a 27 year old policy advisor at the Ministry of Education is still hanging onto the hope that she’ll get the gift she really wants this Christmas.

Reginald has worked on policy at the Ministry for two years now, and does not believe she has found real purpose in her job yet. Her three major pieces of work over the last two years have just recently been rejected and thrown in the trash by the new government, as was expected. 

“Come on David, give me what I want this Christmas,” she said, referring to David Seymour who has promised to make major staffing cuts across the public sector bureaucracy.

“Would you believe I took this job because I wanted to make a difference? No wonder senior staff members laughed in my face when I started,” she recalled, thinking about the first time she was punched in the face by life. 

“Let’s do this David, this is why I voted for you. When is Santa going to deliver the goods?” she asked, hoping to get a nice redundancy notice in her stocking this year, along with a tidy payout.

“I knew I should have gone for that job at Three Waters, lucky bastards will be goneski in no time.”

Reginald, who had initially been thinking about a holiday, was now looking at performance cars on Trademe. “I’ve always liked the idea of a Ford Mustang, you know? A late-ish model, maybe like 2016? A real fossil-burner!” she laughed, horrifying her nearby Wellingtonian co-workers. 

“Ooh look at this yellow one!”

More to come. 

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