DRY JULY DISASTER: Local Boozehound Bottles It On Day One

Man failing dry july



Jayden Barnett’s attempt at going alcohol free for the course of July has been derailed by his own predictable self destruction.

That’s because at 4:31pm Barnett was guzzling back a jug of Speights at his local watering hole with his fellow scaffolder colleagues.

Barnett confirmed his day one defeat to the Whakataki Times reporters.

“Well I’ve raised $142 so far. I mean, I feel like I’ve done my bit for the cause already ya know?” said Barnett, failing to acknowledge that the whole reason he has donations to his account is because he fraudulently claimed he’d go alcohol free for the whole month of July.

Scaffolding co-worker Alex Simpson never believed for a second he would even last a week.

“Gee I was almost going to donate $20 to his cause if he could last the weekend. But the guy’s got a rubber arm. In fact, I didn’t even have to do too much twisting of it, as he was the one who asked about work drinks today,” Simpson said as he plonked three more jugs down in Jayden’s direction.

But Barnett still has a challenge throughout July on his hands. That’s because he now has to go the whole month lying to his mother Kathy, especially after she just sent him the following text.

“Hi Jayden, just donated another $20 to your Dry July account. Hope it’s going well so far. Love Mum.”

More to come.

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