Graham Bell Allegedly Returning To Police Ten 7 Just So He Can Call Darcy Swain A ‘Scruffy Mindless Thug’

Graham Bell with Darcy Swain in the background

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport

GUTLESS GOON

Retired Detective Inspector Graham Bell of Police Ten 7 fame is reportedly coming out of retirement just to let Australian rugby union player Darcy Swain know exactly what he thinks of him.

Swain was yellow carded in the controversial Bledisloe Cup match last Thursday for a sickening assault on the knee of Quinn Tupaea. Tupaea is expected to be sidelined for three months or more thanks to Swain’s scumbaggery. 

With memorable lines like “two armed and violent mongrels” and “a halfwit with a gun, a false beard and a turban”, Bell is well placed to tell it like it is to Swain.

Best of Graham Bell on Police Ten 7

“This mindless low-life has viciously attacked our player’s vulnerable knee, from the side of the ruck. This cowardly little thug deserved a red card and then some,” explained Bell, just getting warmed up with his adjectives. 

Swain is now facing the SANZAAR judiciary for what Detective Inspector Bell calls a “vicious and mindless attack from a pathetic little germ”.

“This lunatic scumbag won’t stop until he’s put behind bars”, said Bell.   

More to come.

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