Greens Happily Sit Back As Finance Minister Chops Down A Forest To Print Out Budget Books

Grant Robertson chopping down a tree as Greens leaders stand by



There’s only one thing Green Party co-leaders James Shaw and Marama Davidson love more than the environment, and that’s pointlessly printing booklets about how the government are going to waste all our money.

It seems that the obsession with emissions reduction targets have clouded the vision of the “sustainability” party, who are somehow unable to see what a waste of resources it is to print out the “Wellbeing Budget 2022”, that could have quite happily existed in a digital form only.

Whakataki local George Wingate heard about the Greens’ neglectful behaviour while he was begrudgingly sorting rubbish into his recycling wheelie bin. “What?! I’m sitting here doing this every week to apparently help the planet, and the bloody Greens can’t even convince their own government minister to just email the budget out instead of printing it? 

“Bunch of hypocrites, probably too busy moaning about whatever the latest nonsense is on Twitter,” said the building contractor, husband and father of one.

Finance Minister Grant Robertson was unavailable for comment about how many acres of forest he needed to chop down in order to produce the printing run of Budget 2022 documents. 

Wellington public servant Isaac Richardson said that his copy of the budget has a very short journey from the printers to the secure destruction bin. “Well in the past I’ve held onto the book for maybe a year before throwing it out. I’d open it up maybe twice when I’d just received it?

“But yeah nah this time I’ll probably save myself the clutter on my desk and just deposit the budget straight in the bin. Cut out the middle man,” said the 29 year old policy advisor.

When quizzed on what he does when he needs to reference the budget for a piece of work, Richardson seemed confused by the question. “Huh? Oh! Nah I just open it up on the PDF version that you can easily download. 

“That way it just sits on my laptop, filed away neatly. And you can search the text for keywords with the old “Ctrl F”. God knows why we’re still printing this crap out”.

More to come.

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