KASSIE MCKAY | Politics
“IT’S ALL GOT TO BE RE-DONE”
It’ll be a silent night indeed for Joseph Christensen, who is facing the cold shoulder from his mum for failing to meet her exacting standards of gift wrapping.
The 29-year-old entrepreneur was stoked last week when he ticked off all the nieces, nephews, aunties, and uncles from his list of ‘people to buy for’. It was the first time in Adam’s nearly three decades on planet earth that he had taken responsibility for purchasing gifts for family members, having previously left the task to his mum or sister.
It came as a sickening blow then, that as he emptied a bag full of Squishmallows, Sylvanian Families, and Southern Comfort under the tree, his mother howled in shock, fear, or perhaps disgust.
Christensen recalled that his mother was, “frozen, pale, but let out this guttural screech… followed by total silence.”
Fearful that his ageing female parent would pass out on top of a gift with his name on it, Christensen was quick to come to her aid.
“I asked her if she was okay, put my arms around her shoulders. She was shaking.”
Only after taking some time to recover, regather her wits, and put the pavlova in the oven, was Mrs.Christensen in a position to speak to the Whakataki Times.
“Adam’s gifts, all of them.. It’s like they were wrapped by a five year old.”
Gazing upon the gifts in sustained horror, Mrs. Christensen alleged she could see brand names, even price tags, showing through gaping holes in the shiny paper covering.
Between sobs, and while whipping cream with frightening force, Mrs. Christensen lamented: “I’ll be up until midnight re-wrapping them all… I dread to think what he’s written in the cards.”
More to come.
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