GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
CLICKING WITH PURPOSE
An Auckland man has turned his organisation’s annual staff engagement survey into a one-man protest — by selecting “strongly disagree” for every single question.
Thirty-two-year-old data analyst Daniel Briggs said he began the survey with good intentions but quickly realised it was the perfect outlet for all his workplace indifference.
“I wasn’t angry or anything,” said Briggs cheerfully. “It just felt right. Every time I saw a question like ‘I feel empowered to bring my whole self to work,’ I thought, ‘Nope. Strongly disagree.’ It was beautiful.”
Briggs, who works from home three days a week and enjoys his job precisely because it requires minimal emotional involvement, said the process was strangely therapeutic.
“After the tenth ‘strongly disagree’, I got into a rhythm. Like meditation, but for honest people.”
Despite the scathing results, Daniel insists he’s not an unhappy employee. “I’m fine. I like my job. I just don’t care about leadership vision statements or being inspired by management. I’m inspired by my pay hitting the account on Wednesday night.”
“Look, I’ve got two kids, a mortgage, and a lawn that needs mowing. I don’t need to be mentored or ‘coached for excellence’. I just need Fridays to arrive faster,” he said.
Coworkers say Daniel’s relaxed attitude has become legendary. “He never gets flustered,” said one teammate. “While we’re stressing over ‘key deliverables’, he’s just calmly ticking boxes and whistling.”
When asked what he hopes the company will take from his feedback, Briggs shrugged. “Probably nothing. They’ll run a workshop about how to increase engagement. I’ll ‘strongly disagree’ with that too.”
After finishing the survey, Daniel closed his laptop, smiled, and poured himself a beer. “That’s my professional development done for the year.”
More to come.
