ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture
FAKE FOCUS
With just a few working days left in 2025, Tom Chapman has summoned every last ounce of office enthusiasm to perform the near-impossible: look like he’s doing something meaningful.
Chapman, a 27-year-old insurance broker in Wellington’s CBD, was spotted at his desk exhibiting an impressive flurry of activity that fooled precisely no one. Christmas decorations twinkled around the office, but Davis’ own sparkle came from his rapid tab-clicking skills.
Our reporters were on-site at his Lambton Quay office to witness the high-stakes performance art that is pretending to care about work in December.
“Ah, what’s this? Urgent request?” Chapman muttered to himself, his eyes scanning the subject line of an email that had landed in his inbox three seconds ago. After a tense deliberation of approximately 27 seconds, he summoned the courage to open it.
Reading it out loud just loud enough for colleagues to hear, Davis projected an aura of diligence.
“Gee, look at him go,” said James McHardy, a coworker who mentally clocked out sometime around November 29. “He’s pretending he’s going to take action it, but we all know he’s just going to wander off to some random folders, click a few things, then stare blankly at the screen until the clock hits five. Classic Tom.”
Davis, now transitioning from frenetic tab-clicker to reflective inbox organizer, shared his thoughts on the year-end grind:
“Well, I want to see the year out strongly,” he said, carefully crafting the illusion of commitment. “Yes, it’s bloody difficult. But its actually better to appear to be busy than to try starting something meaningful. Anyway, I’ve got a few junk folders to clear out—should keep me occupied until lunchtime tomorrow.”
More to come.
