Local Dad Miraculously Makes It Through Entire Day Without Mentioning The Humidity

shirtless man in his fifties



Upper Hutt father of three Alan Gardner, 53, has outdone himself in the field of self control today. 

For nearly a week the bank manager could be heard talking loudly to family, friends and neighbours about anything and everything, with all conversations leading back to how hot and humid it is at the moment. 

“It has been bloody hot lately to be fair, and the reason it feels worse than you’d think is actually because of the humidity in the air,” he told our reporters, his key messages polished to perfection. 

Yesterday however, through some miracle, Gardner was able to go a full 24 hours without bringing up the topic of moisture levels in the air. The feat was made more unbelievable as the Hutt Valley reached 30 degrees for the day. 

“I just realised that the humidity was starting to dominate the bulk of my conversations with people, and maybe it was time to change things up a bit,” said Gardner. 

“Plus at 30 degrees, I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone. Was mostly just sitting still in the hallway of the house, hoping a draft might waft through and cool me down a bit.”

Neighbours and family members were relieved to have a break from Alan’s dialogue, but were generally understanding. “To be fair to Alan, it has been so bloody hot, and he’s right that the humidity plays a big role,” said neighbour Jared while shirtless and sweating visibly. 

“Dad’s been real quiet lately actually, good to have a lid on him for a little while anyway. We all know it’s hot but we’re really not that interested in finding out the reasons why,” said son Jacob, 16. 

With temperatures set to drop noticeably tomorrow, it is unknown how this will impact Gardner as far as the topics of his conversations go. 

More to come. 

Big fan of the Whakataki? Use the form on this page to become a Whakataki backer. You can also follow us on Insta.

Enjoying the Whakataki Times and want to say thanks? Now you can! Use the form below to make a financial contribution to the team’s operating costs. 

How much do you reckon?

Up to you how much