Local Lads Wagging School To Go To The Movies Marked As “Climate Strikers”

lads at the movies with pic of protesters



15 year old Zane Caldwell has found a gaping loophole that he’ll keep firmly in his back pocket from now on. 

The Wellington High Year 11 student has discovered that any kind of “climate protest” that his classmates engage in can be exploited easily to achieve a free day off school. 

“It’s great because I’d been wanting to go see Dune again,” he said. “What a movie!”

The “School Strike for Climate” happened today, with hundreds gathering outside parliament in Wellington, while other simultaneous demonstrations happened around the country. 

Meanwhile Caldwell and his two friends Ashton and Jayden made it down to the Embassy movie theatre at 11 o’clock, leaving their school in no doubt about why they were absent. “Easiest day off I’ve ever had,” he said while brushing stray popcorn crumbs off his tee shirt.

Caldwell made sure they were seen at school earlier this week talking loudly about emissions and carbon dioxide, along with other commonly repeated phrases.

“Oh yeah, capitalism ay, it’s killing the planet,” they laughed. 

“There’s no planet B!”

Wellington High School would not reveal their attendance numbers for today, nor would they corroborate them with an official count of people actually at the protest. 

More to come. 

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