GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
RUNNING AWAY FROM THE HANGOVER
Enthusiastic runner Isaac Holmes lied to himself and those around him this morning as he laced up his New Balances for his morning run.
His claim was that despite having a life-altering hangover from a dozen plus beers the night before, he would be able to run as normal, and would actually cure his ailment completely.
The bleary-eyed PR guy put on a brave face as he explained his reasoning. “I’ve been in this situation before and got through it fine. Nothing like a quick run to blow out the cobwebs and exorcise the demons,” he proclaimed.
“This has been the plan all along. After my seventh or eighth beer I said to the lads that I’d be up and out the door for a run the next morning, no problems. And look, here I am,” he explained, neglecting to mention that he had really meant to just have one or two last night and have a pleasant morning after.
Partner Caitlin had a different view. “Well, to be honest I think the only reason he’s so chipper this morning is because he’s still drunk. No one can out-run a hangover,” she announced correctly.
“He’ll get home and say that it felt really good to sweat out the hangover and that he was a bit slower than usual. This is classic Isaac.
“But after he’s had a shower his demons will begin to haunt him by noon and he’ll be passed out on the couch by 2,” predicted the woman who had clearly seen it all before.
“It’s good that he’s getting up though, and going for a run because it’s better than nothing. But the idea that a sluggish 5k run is going to completely atone for a dozen beers is just ridiculous.
“He might be able to outrun five beers, but no-one can outrun 12.”
More to come.
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