GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
IT ALL STARTS WITH V
Local software developer Callum Marsden was battling today, after staying up well past his bedtime playing video games last night.
The 29 year old from Hamilton started the day with his usual two coffees, but when that wasn’t enough to jolt him into action, proceeded to drink three energy drinks over the course of his Wednesday.
“Stomach doesn’t feel quite right ay,” he said, looking confused about the fact that he was now both sleep-deprived and overstimulated by caffeine and sugar.
“I love blue V ay, easily the superior flavour. Not sure why I’m feeling like this, usually I’m fine with energy drinks,” said Marsden, neglecting the fact that he would usually only have one can, plus a full night’s sleep.
Marsden was not able to move any of the tasks on his team “kanban” board to “done” today, as he had been massively unfocused and underproductive in his work-from-home job. He was forced to admit that after ruining his own sleep with a pointlessly long gaming session, he had now demonstrably made himself sick.
“Should probably just go lie down. It’s three o’clock now so I may as well just message my boss and say I need to log off. I’ll just say I’m feeling sick, but I won’t mention that it’s 100% my own fault,” he laughed before retching slightly.
“He’ll understand. Man, maybe I’ll lay off the V for a while.”
Marsden is now reportedly preparing for another late night gaming session, starting this one with a raspberry lemonade V.
More to come.
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